words in movies
Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
Paul: (entering) Hi honey.
Paul: (To Rachel) How are you?
Phoebe: Hi Paul!
Paul: Hi Phoebe.
Paul: Cant complain.
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Paul: (whispering) Come on.
Rachel: Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.)
Paul: (To Ross) Hey!
Paul: Ross!
Paul: Good to see you too!
Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul and Rachel are getting ready to go out. Paul is entering from the bathroom.]
Paul: Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay?
Paul: It was fine.
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Paul: Are you talking about having sex?
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Paul: Normal.
Paul: Nope! That never happened to me!
Paul: Nope.
Rachel: All right Paul, Im not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything!
Paul: Okay.
Paul: Okay.
Paul: When I was six years old.
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Paul: It was horrible. They called me chicken boy.
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that yknow, you shared your feelings. Its really, its beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?
Paul: Oh, I couldnt eat now.
Paul: Chicken? (Pointing to himself.) Chicken boy!
(Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is still crying as Chandler enters.]
Paul: Rachel?
Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Paul: No! No! Its just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Paul: Hey Chandler?
Paul: Would you .Would you hug me?
Chandler: Im a little busy here Paul.
Paul: Thats exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Paul: Five more seconds.
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
Paul: A surfer.
Paul: I wanted to be one with the waves, yknow?
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Paul: I would really like that. (They kiss.)
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Paul and Rachel are recovering.]
Paul: That was so good. (Starts crying again.)
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Paul: So Ross, what your problem?
Paul: Okay.
Paul: Im Irish.
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Paul: Im so happy that youre here.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Paul: Well, we were very young when we had her.
Paul: She passed away.
Paul: Im already here.
Paul: No.
Paul: I get that a lot.
Paul: Thanks for your help. (Starts to leave.)
Paul: Just call me Paul.
Rachel: (chasing after him) Oh, wait! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul?
Paul: Yes I did.
Paul: Hi Ross.
Paul: Are you yelling at me?!
Paul: You two were married?!
Paul: You have a son?
Paul: How to make the next one even shorter?
Paul: Yes it does.
Paul: Then we agree?
Paul: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there alone as Paul enters.]
Rachel: I came with Paul!
Paul: How did you know we were here?
[Scene: Pauls Bedroom, Elizabeth is entering.]
Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?
Paul: Why are you yelling?
Paul: What do you need from the car?
Paul: Ross!
Paul: Youre next!!
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Paul: No, let me explain! Fired!!
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Paul: I usually prefer Elizabeths boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.
Paul: I know. I like it up here.
Paul: Whats the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
Monica: (sees someone) Paul!
Ross: Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Paul: Fine! Two minutes. Go.
Paul: Really?! (She nods in the affirmative.)
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Paul: Im just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.
Paul: I had a sister.
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Paul: (panicked) What?
Paul: I beg your pardon?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.
Paul: Okay. Ill be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Paul: No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul?
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.
Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Paul: Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.)
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, its my moms. So this is the kitchen.
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.