words in movies
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant...
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
Phoebe: You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
PHOEBE: That'll work too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
Phoebe: Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God.
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete.
Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
Phoebe: Because its our thirtieth birthday.
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Phoebe: (Philosophically) Oh, thats good.
Phoebe: Well look no further, (shows her the dead one) this ones yours! Ahhh.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair and Duncan enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is paying Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Phoebe: Stings son, seven years old and theres a picture.
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is running up to meet David.]
[Cut to living room, Phoebe enters and closes Rachels door behind her.]
Joey: (as Phoebe enters) You'd better act surprised.
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: I-I-I-I-I dont know, I dont know what to say.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, were gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
(She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
(Monica, Phoebe and Joey release their wind-up toys.)
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Phoebe: Yknow what? This one is. (Eats another spoonful of pudding as Cliff sees something on TV.)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium?
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Phoebe: Oh no wait, oh no, the elastic on my underwear busted.
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica and Phoebe are shopping for a new mattress.]
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Phoebe: My God, I cant get a minute of peace around this place.
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Phoebe: All right I I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question.
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are doing dishes as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!