words in movies
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant...
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
Phoebe: You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: You ok?
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Phoebe: Oops!
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Good God man dont anger it.
Phoebe: Isn't he great?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is signing the divorce papers.]
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Isn't he good?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Phoebe: Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda.
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So what's going on?
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Phoebe: But I don't. Me, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Nothing, nothing.
Phoebe: You're not? See, that's why you're so great!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]
Phoebe: (entering carrying a case) Ooh, good, youre hear! Okay.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah, right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her guitar.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
PHOEBE: [a little dog starts attacking her leg] Hey, hey, no, oh oh.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Phoebe: I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: Oh, well, dont tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Phoebe: Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph?
PHOEBE: You're not the only one who has a date tonight.
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Rachel: (Into mike) Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.
Jack: Uh, Phoebe you-you dont have an office.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Phoebe: Why wont you let me massage you?
Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before.
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Phoebe: (sitting) OK.
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Phoebe: Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK.
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Phoebe: I could do that.
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Ross: (opens it to reveal Phoebe) Hey!