words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Mr. President.
Steve: Oh hi Phoebe.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really like his glasses.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, a 100 dollars.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, my bad.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: Ooh. (Turns to him.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey's having breakfast; Phoebe enters the room carrying her wedding dress.]
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
Phoebe: Im so jealous youre all going! I cant believe I never knew that you cant fly in your third trimester!
Phoebe: So, here we are. Nervous?
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Rachel: Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge.
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
PHOEBE: OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Phoebe: And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. (Shakes his hand and leaves, which disgusts Monica.)
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Hey.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Phoebe: What?!!
Phoebe: Oof...
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: I-I'm with the umm, the 57th.
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Phoebe: I-I sure will, take care. (Starts walking off.)
Phoebe: Yeah, big guy, kinda bald.
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Phoebe: All righty. Ill be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Phoebe and Joey: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: Me?!
Phoebe: Gary.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Phoebe: I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Phoebe: All right, I can't wait!
Phoebe: Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Phoebe: You wanna work on your interview skills?
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Phoebe: Ohh, impressive.
PHOEBE: Oh my God!� I love things.� What happened?
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Phoebe: Oh God!
Phoebe: All right, you go. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Okay, then maybe I can come too!
Phoebe: 'Kay, bye!
Phoebe: Come on, seriously! When did it end?
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.