words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh hey you guys!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy.
Phoebe: He works with food!
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Phoebe: Oh! Hi!
Phoebe: Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Phoebe: (cough talks) Soul mate.
Chandler: (mouths to Phoebe) What?
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Phoebe: Yeah?
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Monica: (returning) Phoebe, good work.
Phoebe: Dont worry, well find you someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Phoebe: Im so sorry.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!
Phoebe: Ive got friends too. Okay, bye.
Phoebe: Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving!
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on Joe?
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: (mouths to Chandler) Soul mate.
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
Phoebe: Oh hello.
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: He has brown hair.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Hm huh, yeah.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh thank God.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Much less happy!
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Closes door)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)