words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Already?!
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yes!
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I guess.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Phoebe: What did he say?
Phoebe: Yeah, maybe.
Phoebe: Any luck?
Phoebe: Oh sure, Cilantro Larry.
Phoebe: What?! Monica, Im scared!!
Phoebe: Not after this!
Phoebe: What-whats up?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
Phoebe: Oh my God Monica!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
Phoebe: Remembered what?
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Phoebe: Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
Phoebe: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Phoebe: (starting to cry) Thank you so much.
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt hear that.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hi, guys.
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
Phoebe: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Phoebe: Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Phoebe: Thanks you guys! Again.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Phoebe: They are gonna love me.
PHOEBE: Hi Gram. Whatcha doin'?
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.