words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Phoebe: Ok.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Phoebe: What's that?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Phoebe: Morning.
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Phoebe: I did not see that coming.
Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle!
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends.
Phoebe: (screaming) YAY!
Phoebe: (quietly) Yay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Tips not included.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Phoebe: Uh, Joe?
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Monica: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! (Phoebe enters) Hey Phoebe!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: So, you just let her go?
Phoebe: Wait, wait! Get your coat! Get your coat!
Phoebe: Woo!
Phoebe: Hurry!
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: I - I don't take passengers.
Phoebe: Get out of the cab!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: m'ap
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Phoebe: You can open your eyes now.
Phoebe: Hurry!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Toll-booth.
Phoebe: Damn, that window is clean.
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe come running.]
Phoebe: We're on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: I'm so lucky I married you.
Phoebe: No, did we miss it?
Phoebe: Hey, it's me. Here's Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Ross: Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no!
(Phoebe screams.)
Phoebe: Well, I've never gone this fast before.
Phoebe: You don't have any other choice!