words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. Bye!
Phoebe: What?! Really?!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Gary: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: No, nothing.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.
Gary: Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah?
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: That's so sweet.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Phoebe: (smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Phoebe: Yeah, I've been around.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: I don't know! I don't remember!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Phoebe: Well, I can't help you.
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Phoebe: No.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Phoebe: No that made me feel precious.
Phoebe: I do!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Phoebe: Hey, dude!
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Garfunkle.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?