words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Phoebe: You cant give up on your dream.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
(Phoebe enters.)
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe youll die!
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: Oh, howd that happen?
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Bamn! There you go! Huh?
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Phoebe: Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Phoebe: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Phoebe: How did that happen?!!
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Phoebe: What?! What-what-what-what-what?!!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Phoebe: And also, my birthday.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: I have plans.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: Very good handshake, good wrist action.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Well, deep-deep-deep down!
Phoebe: Ready?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: it's...
Rachel: Phoebes...
Phoebe: please...
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: It's
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: leave