words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Phoebe: So hes probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.
(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: God! (She turns and buttons up.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: (to one of his sisters, Cookie) Hey!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: What?!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: Hey!
[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No (tucks it in her pants)
Phoebe: Wow!
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Phoebe: Which time?
Phoebe: Oh, Pervert Parade?
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Phoebe: Hi!
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Phoebe: Hey, how are you guys doing?
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Phoebe: Oh, give it to me.
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Phoebe: Thank God.
Phoebe: Give it!
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?!
Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Umm, a flea market?
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
Phoebe: Ameri-can.