words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Phoebe: (running after him) Wait-wait-wait! Wait!!
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Phoebe: Nah-ha!
Phoebe: Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Rachel: Fine! Well ask Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Really?!
Phoebe: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
Phoebe: (to Vince) Well, that couldve been really awkward.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe wont tell her.]
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, dont take his name.
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh.
Phoebe: I, but youre so close! No!
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, shes not now.
Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnies the best!
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Phoebe: Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Phoebe: Ohh, thats too bad!
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Phoebe: Yeah, so please, please, please, dont say anything to Chandler.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey!
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
Phoebe: Okay, well you put down the toilet seat.
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? < Phoebe comes in>
Phoebe: Y'know what that means?
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
(Phoebe drives up.)
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Phoebe: Oy!!
Phoebe: (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.
Phoebe Sr: Ahh, yes.
Phoebe Sr: Oh.
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe: Wow! You guys really dont know anything!
Phoebe: Oh, what? What was it?
Chandler: Well, Phoebe I thought Id(Off Phoebes look)Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything.
Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey!
Phoebe: Oh, so, how are we doing?
Monica: (to Phoebe) So whats Phoebe like?
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'.
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross and Phoebe have been banished to Ross's place.]
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe Sr: What?!
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe Sr: Then don't break in!!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Phoebe: Ehh?
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.