words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.
Phoebe: It's ok that's how you feel.
Phoebe: Better.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Someday.
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
PHOEBE: Um, the matador. [Duncan leaves] Ole, ha ha ha.
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
Phoebe: Here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Yes.
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
Phoebe: You can't have it.
Monica: Phoebe come here
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe: Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Phoebe: Those are my shoes.
Mike: Phoebe called me.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Phoebe: Thanks, you look good too.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: Sit down.
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
Phoebe: I've missed you too.
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Phoebe: Who is this?
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!
Phoebe: You don't wanna win the lottery?
Phoebe: Hey will you get me tickets too?
Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: I hope I win!
Phoebe: One, two, three!
Others: (simultaneously) Yeah, Merry... Christmas. (again, Phoebe...)
Phoebe: Get a room!
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Monica: (runs over to Phoebe) You have got to go home!
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Phoebe: Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl?
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
(Phoebe gives her a meaningful look)
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
Phoebe: Don't come any closer!
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
(they all keep staring at Phoebe)
Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start!
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: I'm still looking through mine...
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Phoebe: We won!
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: We won.
(They all glare evilly at Phoebe)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.