words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Phoebe: (writing frantically) You guys, Im sorry, could you please talk a little slower?
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Phoebe: I'm wearing pantyhose!
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Phoebe: (entering, quietly) Wow, you told your dad the truth.
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!
Joey: Phoebe!
Monica: Well Phoebe doesnt eat turkey
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Happy Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: What?
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Monica: This is Phoebe.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh okay.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Green Bay.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
Phoebe: I think you do.
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Phoebe: What?! What else did you do?
(Phoebe makes a sound like a car screeching to a halt.)
Phoebe: Oh! (They all look.) Wow!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Phoebe: I wanna join!
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (louder) My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I cant breathe.
Phoebe: Sting has a son that goes there too!
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: Got cha again, you guys are so easy.
Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Wow! Theyre beautiful!
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Phoebe: Oh no! Why not?
Phoebe: How come?!
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Ross: Phoebe, I
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Joey are playing Rock em, Sock em Robots.]
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Phoebe: Yes you can! Sting says so himself!
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Phoebe: (singing) Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Phoebe is helping Joey rehearse for an audition. Phoebe is overacting her part.]
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done.
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
(She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.)
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, Im with Ben.
Phoebe: Oh.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Phoebe: But why does it even matter?!
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
Phoebe: Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Four would be great.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]