words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
Phoebe: Where?
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Phoebe: All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
Phoebe: Who? Who is it?
Phoebe: Was that story over?
Phoebe: We dont know.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, its right after she told Phoebe that shes her birth mother.]
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Phoebe: Okay! All right! Yeah! Cause I just cant picture it.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh my God, are you okay?
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter.)
Phoebe: What?!!
Phoebe: No!!
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Monica and Phoebe: Oh my God!!
Phoebe: I'm so sorry!
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! Have a great honeymoon!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea.
Phoebe: It was his sweater, butOh my God!
Phoebe: Me too! (Joins the hug.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Phoebe: Yeah, bye.
Phoebe: I really, really am sorry.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are entering.]
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Phoebe: No you didnt.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Phoebe: (deadpan) And?
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!
Phoebe: Well why dont you use your key?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Im having another heart attack!
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: Didnt you two already talk?
Phoebe: A little bit.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor?
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
Phoebe: Come on in!
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Phoebe: Youre gonna get pregnant.
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Phoebe: Dinner was good!
Phoebe: Hey!
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!