words in movies
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Phoebe: Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Phoebe: Oh, how cute!
Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll!
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Phoebe: Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm...
Phoebe: (glancing at her) What?
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.
Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them!
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Phoebe: So, should we tell her?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Phoebe: So you're gonna move?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Phoebe: What else?
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Wher-where have you been?
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: How come?
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
Phoebe: Thats weird.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Phoebe: Your nails.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!
Phoebe: I dont get it.
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
Phoebe: What? Oh my God!
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another time lapse, Monica is seeking advice from Rachel and Phoebe about possible replacement earrings.]
Phoebe Sr.: Wait!
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Chandler: How do Monica and Phoebe know?
Phoebe: My Father is Chuck Magioni?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Phoebe: Theyre not even touching the lasagna!
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Phoebe: Okay, but this cant be good for the baby.
Phoebe: (turning around, insistently) Monica!
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, Im gonna eat like, yknow millions of cows.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Phoebe: Yeah, but yknow, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? Im kinda hungry.
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Phoebe: No, no, Im fine, and yknow why? Cause of all the riboflavin.
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: These old things.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Phoebe: No!
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Phoebe: Theyve been quiet for a long time.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hey! Youre not dead! Okay, see ya!
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Phoebe: You mean theOkay by siadic, you mean the towel covered portion.
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
Phoebe: Yeah! In really long hour world.
Phoebe: Really?!
Phoebe: What?
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?)
Phoebe: Yes, I will tell her.
Phoebe: Yeah, its in the guys apartment under the sink. Why?
Phoebe: Great! Thank you very much.
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Phoebe: Thank you.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh.
Chandler: Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
All: Way to go, Phoebe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Phoebe: Wow, cute one!