words in movies
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Phoebe: Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Phoebe: Oh, how cute!
Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll!
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Phoebe: Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm...
Phoebe: (glancing at her) What?
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.
Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them!
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Phoebe: So, should we tell her?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Phoebe: So you're gonna move?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Phoebe: What else?
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent.
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Man, tough week for Estelle!
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: I know.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Phoebe: Ok.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Phoebe: What's that?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Phoebe: Morning.
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Phoebe: I did not see that coming.
Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle!
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends.
Phoebe: (screaming) YAY!
Phoebe: (quietly) Yay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Tips not included.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Phoebe: Uh, Joe?
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Monica: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! (Phoebe enters) Hey Phoebe!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]