words in movies
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Phoebe: Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Phoebe: Oh, how cute!
Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll!
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Phoebe: You know, I'm always right about these things.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Phoebe: Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm...
Phoebe: (glancing at her) What?
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.
Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them!
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Phoebe: So, should we tell her?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Phoebe: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. So sorry.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Phoebe: So you're gonna move?
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Phoebe: Hey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Phoebe: What else?
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: Very good handshake, good wrist action.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Well, deep-deep-deep down!
Phoebe: Ready?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: it's...
Rachel: Phoebes...
Phoebe: please...
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: It's
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: leave
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on that's silly.
Phoebe: Let's run towards them!
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
Monica: So, Phoebe runs weird huh?
Phoebe: Hey!
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: Why? Why would you do that?
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: No, wait Phoebe.
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Sure
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Uh-Huh, Which is...?
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
Phoebe: Why do you care?
Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Phoebe: Don't get me started on that.
Rachel: (Runs into Phoebe.) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Phoebe: Rachel?
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
Phoebe: Oh my God. What happened?
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh good! Okay. Cause you were acting like you didnt.
Phoebe: Oh, this guy again. (She ignores him.)
Phoebe: Totally.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Phoebe: No!
Rachel: Phoebe
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Phoebe: (Hugging her again.) Youve lasted a whole year. Good for you.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"