words in movies
Phoebe: Great!
Monica: Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party.
Phoebe: Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing.
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.
Phoebe: Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting?
Phoebe: You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. (she drinks her tea) Hmmmm... raunchy!
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Phoebe: How old is your phonebook?
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Phoebe: Shocking!
Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?
Phoebe: No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything!
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
Roy: Damnit. OH! (To Phoebe) Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
Phoebe: Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch.
Phoebe: There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?
Phoebe: (after a pause) Finish it!
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh this is so ho-o-ot!
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, don't stop!
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Phoebe: Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Phoebe: No, lets just draw straws.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Phoebe: (sees the table) Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it?
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?
Phoebe: And all of the sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (The flashback shows Paulo rolling over and showing Phoebe his equipment.)
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
Phoebe: Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Phoebe: Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
Phoebe: Calm down. Maybe youre not pregnant.
Phoebe: Yum-my!
Phoebe: (panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!
Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.)
Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh my God, well if theyve ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
(Phoebe hugs Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Phoebe: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.
Phoebe: Is it a meatball sub?
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Phoebe: 'Kay.
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldnt tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh!
Phoebe: Well this doesnt even smell like opium.
Phoebe: That and arrogance.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Phoebe: Secret affair!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
PHOEBE: Stilts?
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
Phoebe: You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
(As Joey goes to the bathroom, Corporate Phoebe enters. Shes wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase.)
Phoebe: (coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!!
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Phoebe: I would, but you're the last one.