words in movies
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Phoebe: You too!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Phoebe: Really?! How come?
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Phoebe: Then do Iceberg!
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: No, but you're questioning my method!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: What?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Good! Good! Five points!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, guess what?
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, it's going okay.
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, thanks!
Phoebe: Wait, you can't take the money out.
Phoebe: Thank you! And Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance?
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: That game should not be played without my supervision.
Phoebe: Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: (opens her bedroom door and peeks out) Hey, is Chandler here?
Phoebe: Thank you, Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Phoebe: Okay! (Gets into position) Okay, ready?
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: That chick can't handle my corner.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Monica: So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? (They all high-five again.)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
PHOEBE: Ok. Um, so does your guitar have a strap?
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage.
Phoebe: Oh, just go. Youre never gonna get it!
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt talking about his karma.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: I hate my regular clothes now! Yknow? I look down and-and I know that this isnt gonna be the most special day of my life.
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: Exactly! Because it's in the past!
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
STRANGER: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Okay, then what happened?
Phoebe: Oh, I get a puppy!!
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Phoebe: Umm, oh, about three months.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Phoebe: What were you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Phoebe: So are you actually gonna see her again?
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you serious?!