words in movies
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Phoebe: You too!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Phoebe: Really?! How come?
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Phoebe: Then do Iceberg!
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: No, but you're questioning my method!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Phoebe: Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night.
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
PHOEBE: Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked?
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay! I justI didnt know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Phoebe: Great, ok faster! "je"
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: (joining him) Love....
Phoebe: Ive found....
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Monica and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Phoebe: Yay!!
Phoebe: (walking back in with her hand over her eyes.) Umm, wheres my purse?
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Monica: Phoebe.
(They start smacking each other's cups, but Phoebe notices a security guard approaching.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Whats block?
Phoebe: Go! Go! Go!
Phoebe: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Phoebe: Touchdown!! Touchdown!!
Monica: Run, Phoebe, run!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Phoebe: Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't?
Phoebe: Woo-yay!!
Phoebe: I love this game!!
Phoebe: Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Phoebe: (interrupting) No, I mean I was really acting my ass off.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
PHOEBE: Didn't it like totally speak to you?
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
PHOEBE: Hey. Watcha guys doin?
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: I just asked you.
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Oh this is so ho-o-ot!
Phoebe: Destiny.
Phoebe: So, what happens to the old guys?
Phoebe: I never had a bike of my own.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wouldve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Phoebe: Chandler what are you doing?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
Phoebe: Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?
PHOEBE: Oh, it's like a skit.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
Phoebe: Gnight, bro.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Oh! Oh my God!
Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, youre the best!
Phoebe: Wow, ooh, you're gonna be making money hand over fist!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
(Phoebe exits)