words in movies
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Happy New Year, Pheebs!
Phoebe: You too!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Phoebe: Really?! How come?
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Phoebe: Then do Iceberg!
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: No, but you're questioning my method!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, well, ya know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Wooo.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
MONICA: Phoebe.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Phoebe: Well, I never call me.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Phoebe: Im just saying hi! Now Im gonna go!
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
PHOEBE: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.
Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part?
PHOEBE: Come in.
PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: Give it.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Oh.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
PHOEBE: All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
PHOEBE: Bye, good luck.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
Phoebe: so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
PHOEBE: Oh, my.
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Phoebe: All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
Phoebe: Hi Monica!
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Phoebe: Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]