words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Phoebe: Hey guys!
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Good to see you.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
Phoebe: Tell us what?
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Phoebe: Insane.
Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.?
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score!
Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!
Phoebe: I did!
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Hi!
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Amanda: Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Phoebe: Well...kinda.
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Rachel and Phoebe: Hi!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.