words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!
Phoebe: I did!
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Hi!
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Amanda: Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Phoebe: Well...kinda.
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Rachel and Phoebe: Hi!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Phoebe: Separate performances.
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth!
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Phoebe: Well, if you're leaving, I'm definitely gonna go.
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Phoebe: Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?
Phoebe: No, it did not.
Phoebe: Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup!
Phoebe: I'm too excited!
Phoebe: (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that!
Phoebe: Go! Go!
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Phoebe: Yeah, see you later!
Phoebe: Good job Alan!
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle]
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
(Phoebe enters the apartment again.)
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
All: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: YEAH!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
Phoebe: Joey, I just think youre getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that.
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
Phoebe: Well, yeah. Y'know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.]
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Phoebe: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Phoebe: Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]