words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Phoebe: PHOE-BE.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: Hands.
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: What else? What else?
Phoebe: Enter Pheebs.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Can we come in?
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Is she in there?
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you all right?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it?
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Especially Ross!
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.
Phoebe: Oh. Ah-uh.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey what are you guys looking at?
Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really?
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Phoebe: (Enters) Hey!
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Do you not know each other?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?