words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.
Jack: Uh, Phoebe you-you dont have an office.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Phoebe: Why wont you let me massage you?
Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before.
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Phoebe: Well hey, its just a backup.
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.]
Phoebe: (sitting) OK.
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Phoebe: Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK.
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Phoebe: I could do that.
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Ross: (opens it to reveal Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
Phoebe: (imitating the receptionist's tone) Good morning receptionist.
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Phoebe: (Jumping up) Yeah?
Phoebe: Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?!
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Phoebe: Yeah Im fine.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Phoebe: Good choice.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: With?
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Okay.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay.
Phoebe: Okay... Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, oh.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.
Phoebe: There you go.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.