words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Hi, Max!
Phoebe: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Phoebe: Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. (Points.)
Phoebe: Do it!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Phoebe: I can't believe you did that!
Phoebe: We should do something. Whistle.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
Phoebe: I know.
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
Phoebe: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: I guess so. (See, the brief possession didn't affect her at all, like we could really tell.)
Phoebe: I'm in.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
PHOEBE: He's even kind of cute.
Phoebe: Hello.
Phoebe: No, you?
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: I knooow.
Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Phoebe: Oops!
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Good God man dont anger it.
Phoebe: Isn't he great?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is signing the divorce papers.]
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Isn't he good?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Phoebe: Yeah, but then I can be you sidekick Vunda.
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
Phoebe: Hey.