words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Phoebe: Yeah Im fine.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Phoebe: Good choice.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: With?
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Okay.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay.
Phoebe: Okay... Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, oh.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.
Phoebe: There you go.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but...
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Phoebe: Trouble?
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So.
Phoebe: All right. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Phoebe: Does he know?
Phoebe: You got me.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: Ooh! A Salami Buddy!
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
(Phoebe walks by, ignoring the two strangers.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Really?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]