words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: Very good handshake, good wrist action.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Well, deep-deep-deep down!
Phoebe: Ready?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: it's...
Rachel: Phoebes...
Phoebe: please...
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: It's
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: leave
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on that's silly.
Phoebe: Let's run towards them!
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
Monica: So, Phoebe runs weird huh?
Phoebe: Hey!
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: Why? Why would you do that?
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: No, wait Phoebe.
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Sure
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Uh-Huh, Which is...?
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
Phoebe: Why do you care?
Phoebe: Seriously? You divorce-o?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Phoebe: Don't get me started on that.
Rachel: (Runs into Phoebe.) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Phoebe: Rachel?
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
Phoebe: Oh my God. What happened?
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh good! Okay. Cause you were acting like you didnt.
Phoebe: Oh, this guy again. (She ignores him.)
Phoebe: Totally.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Phoebe: No!
Rachel: Phoebe
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Phoebe: (Hugging her again.) Youve lasted a whole year. Good for you.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"