words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Phoebe: Rachel.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Phoebe: Who said you were?
Phoebe: Oh, Im flaky. Ill say anything.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Phoebe: Really? Ive heard better.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, were gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
(She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Ross: Yep. (Phoebe slams the door shut.) Okay.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
(Monica, Phoebe and Joey release their wind-up toys.)
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Phoebe: Yknow what? This one is. (Eats another spoonful of pudding as Cliff sees something on TV.)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium?
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Phoebe: Oh no wait, oh no, the elastic on my underwear busted.
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Phoebe: (comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica and Phoebe are shopping for a new mattress.]
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Phoebe: My God, I cant get a minute of peace around this place.
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Phoebe: All right I I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question.
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are doing dishes as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
PHOEBE: OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it)
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Phoebe: Radiator.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Phoebe: Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates?
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Ooh!
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).
Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
Phoebe: I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants.
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)