words in movies
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Thanks!
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: That was my dad!
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: She's dead.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: You make up songs?
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
Phoebe: No, but you can't.
Phoebe: Uh uh.
Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Phoebe: Petrie.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Ok.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: Intense and creepy.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Phoebe: That oughta do it.
Phoebe: Lotsa things.
Phoebe: (entering, carrying two garbage bags) Hey!
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's got Ross's haircut!
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Phoebe: Hey.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
Phoebe: How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Phoebe: Oh, let me see! (takes the picture)
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Remembered what?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Phoebe: My mother killed herself.
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica and Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: How many beeps?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
[Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Maybe there's someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
(Phoebe nods as he stands up in delight.)
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-
Phoebe: Ohh! No.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Phoebe: Where?
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Phoebe: What?