words in movies
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Thanks!
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: That was my dad!
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: She's dead.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: You make up songs?
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Salt, so your life always has flavor.
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
PHOEBE: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: My God, Joey!
PHOEBE: (laughing) Oh my God, you look so good!
Gary: (To Phoebe) So you wanna get some dinner?
Phoebe: Oh, they love your casserole.
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault.
Phoebe: Bye!
PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?
Phoebe: Dont feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isnt gay.
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Phoebe: Which you just gave up really quickly.
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. Bye!
Phoebe: What?! Really?!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Gary: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: No, nothing.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.
Gary: Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah?
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: That's so sweet.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Phoebe: (smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Phoebe: Yeah, I've been around.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: But I like it here!