words in movies
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.]
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Thanks!
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: That was my dad!
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: She's dead.
Phoebe: Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: You make up songs?
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Phoebe: Rachel?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Phoebe: Shocking!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really?
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Phoebe: There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, don't stop!
Phoebe: Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Phoebe: Like a date type (looks at Rachel) person?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: She did? Why?
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Phoebe: So Rach.
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
Phoebe: What's up?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Phoebe: (nervously) Okay.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Na-ah.
(Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe)
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Phoebe: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Phoebe: Hi