words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
(Phoebe sits down between Chandler and Ross.)
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Ugh, I hate this year!
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Phoebe: Oh thats right!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is hard at work.]
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Phoebe: May I ask why?
Phoebe: I surely do!
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Phoebe: No-no wait-wait! I cant just let you hang up! Just please talk to me.
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Phoebe: Chandler?
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still trying to talk Earl out of suicide.]
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: All right so Earl, lets just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-theres gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend?
Phoebe: Oh sorry, boyfriend!
Phoebe: No, whatever! Anything!
Phoebe: Yeah, hes gotta go.
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
[Scene: Earls Office, Earl has his head in his hands as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Phoebe: Oh. Well umm, okay heres a weird thing. My mother was also a supply manager.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Phoebe: Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks out.)
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Umm, Gene.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Phoebe: Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: Drum roll.
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yay!
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay, bye!
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Phoebe: Excuse me.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering, wearing Santa pants) Hello!
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Phoebe: Boy! I didnt see that coming!
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Phoebe: Or you could end up with everything.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Phoebe: This is great!
Phoebe: Oh, I have cards!
Phoebe: All right, Joey, same question.
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: (to Pete) Wow! Thats exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Phoebe: (surprised) Hello?
Joey: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Phoebe: The name was my favourite part!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Already?!
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yes!
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Me too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I guess.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?