words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Phoebe: Ross...
Phoebe: Can you?
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Phoebe: Oh God!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Nope.
Phoebe: Yep.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
PHOEBE: Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
PHOEBE: It's James Bond.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Paul.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
PHOEBE: Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again
PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?
Phoebe: (Sung)
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
PHOEBE: So talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, God bless us, everyone.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: Wow.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Ok.
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
Phoebe: It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
PHOEBE: Why not her?
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)