words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Phoebe: Ross...
Phoebe: Can you?
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Phoebe: Oh God!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Nope.
Phoebe: Yep.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Shiny.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Why?!
PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?
Phoebe: (smiles) Show me the badge again.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: (excited) Shut it down.
Phoebe: Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?
Rachel: No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can!
Phoebe: Enh. Sure!
Phoebe: Ooh, absolutely!
Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
Phoebe: Well its only like my favorite bay! {Actually, its not bad. It just gets a little cold in winter, but in Wisconsin winter only lasts from August to June. J }
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
Phoebe: (to the player) Hi.
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are there.]
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Monica: Phoebe?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: We didnt fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: What?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Good! Good! Five points!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Phoebe: Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, guess what?
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, it's going okay.
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, thanks!
Phoebe: Wait, you can't take the money out.
Phoebe: Thank you! And Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance?
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: That game should not be played without my supervision.
Phoebe: Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes.
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
Phoebe: (opens her bedroom door and peeks out) Hey, is Chandler here?
Phoebe: Thank you, Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Phoebe: Okay! (Gets into position) Okay, ready?
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: That chick can't handle my corner.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!