words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Phoebe: You cant give up on your dream.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
(Phoebe enters.)
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe youll die!
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: Oh, howd that happen?
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Bamn! There you go! Huh?
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Phoebe: Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Phoebe: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Phoebe: How did that happen?!!
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Phoebe: What?! What-what-what-what-what?!!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Phoebe: And also, my birthday.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: I have plans.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: Very good handshake, good wrist action.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Well, deep-deep-deep down!
Phoebe: Ready?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: it's...
Rachel: Phoebes...
Phoebe: please...
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: It's
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: leave