words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Phoebe: Hey guys!
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Good to see you.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
Phoebe: Tell us what?
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Phoebe: Insane.
Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.?
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score!
Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!
Phoebe: I did!
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Hi!
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Amanda: Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Phoebe: Well...kinda.
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Rachel and Phoebe: Hi!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.