words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
Phoebe: (singing) Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you..
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that.
Phoebe: Ok!
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Phoebe: Who else?
Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (whispering) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!
Phoebe: Ooh! We have a problem.
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Phoebe: Good plan.
Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: What happened?
David: Phoebe! Hi!
Phoebe: David?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug)
Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Well... (pause) no.
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
Phoebe: Ok. (they walk away together)
Phoebe: I'd love to.
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Phoebe: No! Nothing with a raccoon.
Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Not Joey.
[Scene: Shop, Rachel, Charlie and Phoebe walk in]
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
[Time lapse, Phoebe is asleep, Joeys driving and having a hard time staying awake.]
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Phoebe: Wow? Really? That's fantastic!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Credits [Scene: Central Perk. Russ enters. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
(Phoebe and David walk in)
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.
Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike!
Phoebe: No, Mike's here.
Mike: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
Monica: ... Phoebe...?
Phoebe: ... and...?
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing!
Phoebe: Tails!
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
(Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.)
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)