words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Six months.
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: Oh I know, Ive been there. I remember toward the end
Phoebe: Well, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: I got me some drinks!
Phoebe: What do you know?!
Phoebe: Ooh! Hi!
Phoebe: No, back to happy. Back to happy!
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Phoebe: I'll have one, please. Plus my money.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Im telling it! Im telling it!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, youre going to have three babies.
Phoebe: I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
Phoebe: Oh, that is better.
Phoebe: Pastrami.
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
PHOEBE: Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
Rachel: Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... (Phoebe looks devastated)
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Alice: (entering) Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi!
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
Phoebe: Hi!
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Phoebe: Oh my God, has she slept at all?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Phoebe: Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks out.)
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Umm, Gene.
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Phoebe: Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: Drum roll.
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yay!
Ross: In this life, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay, bye!
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Phoebe: Excuse me.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering, wearing Santa pants) Hello!
Phoebe: (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Phoebe: Boy! I didnt see that coming!
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Phoebe: Thats too hard. Too hard!
Phoebe: Or you could end up with everything.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Phoebe: This is great!