words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
(She goes over and lets Phoebe bounce in wearing her own wedding dress.)
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, Im with Ben.
Phoebe: Oh.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Phoebe: But why does it even matter?!
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
Phoebe: Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Four would be great.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Phoebe: Bye.
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right
Phoebe: Wait, Im-Im sorry. Whats the big deal about a holiday card?
Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room)
Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what?
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God.
Phoebe: You wish.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Phoebe: Ugh! Women!
Phoebe: I love you too...
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Phoebe: No, we hate that.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Phoebe: Oh, sly.
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Rachel: Phoebe no!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Phoebe: Youre welcome.
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay lets leave these two alone.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Phoebe: Hey! I got you a present!!
Phoebe: We have good news, look whose back!
Phoebe: Do you really like it?
Phoebe: Oh really? What was your first?
Phoebe: Ooh, what happened?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Its not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game.
Monica: Okay, Im next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Dont! Dont start another game! I said Im next! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldnt be interested? Who wouldnt want to date him?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: (To him) Oh, well hello there.
Monica: Chandler! Phoebes hogging the game!
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: There you go, that's the spirit! Okay! Now, if you need money, I will lend you money, but just get moving!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Phoebe: (simultaneously as Eric) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Phoebe: Does Joey have any idea?
PHOEBE: Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
Phoebe: I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Phoebe: I know!
Ross: Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Dont touch me!!