words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.
Phoebe: It's ok that's how you feel.
Phoebe: Better.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Phoebe: Someday.
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Are you gonna change yours?
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
PHOEBE: Um, the matador. [Duncan leaves] Ole, ha ha ha.
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
Phoebe: Here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Yes.
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
Phoebe: You can't have it.
Monica: Phoebe come here
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Phoebe: Yes, it reminds me of a simpler time.
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Phoebe: Those are my shoes.
Mike: Phoebe called me.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Phoebe: Thanks, you look good too.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Phoebe: Sit down.
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Phoebe: So how's the piano playing going?
Phoebe: I've missed you too.
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Phoebe: Who is this?
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!
Phoebe: You don't wanna win the lottery?
Phoebe: Hey will you get me tickets too?
Phoebe: Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: I hope I win!
Phoebe: One, two, three!
Others: (simultaneously) Yeah, Merry... Christmas. (again, Phoebe...)
Phoebe: Get a room!
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Monica: (runs over to Phoebe) You have got to go home!
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Phoebe: Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl?
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
(Phoebe gives her a meaningful look)
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
Phoebe: Don't come any closer!
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
(they all keep staring at Phoebe)
Phoebe: Guys, the drawing is about to start!
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: I'm still looking through mine...
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Phoebe: We won!
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: We won.
(They all glare evilly at Phoebe)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
Phoebe: Yeah.