words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Well, you were wrong, he doesnt like me!
(Phoebe enters the bathroom)
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe: Were in the bathroom!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh are you and Chandler
Phoebe: So do you want to hang out or something?
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Phoebe: Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?
Phoebe: Well, I left my guitar here again.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: Oh, it has a name?
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Phoebe: You told me you hate massages!
Monica: Phoebe, dont get upset!
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Phoebe: Potato, potaato.
Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Phoebe: (getting uncomfortable) Okay.
Phoebe: Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged!
Phoebe: I mean $500.
Phoebe: 600.
Phoebe: No-no, I got that.
Phoebe: Yes.
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Phoebe: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
Monica: Uh Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thats it. Just relax.
Phoebe: Come on more!
Phoebe: Yeah, you like that dont you?
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Phoebe and Monica: (sympathetic) Ohh!
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: What stuff?
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Tim: (walks behind Phoebe) Hi! (And startles her.)
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Phoebe: Okay, good.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh hey you guys!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy.
Phoebe: He works with food!
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Phoebe: Oh! Hi!
Phoebe: Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Phoebe: (cough talks) Soul mate.
Chandler: (mouths to Phoebe) What?
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Phoebe: Yeah?
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Monica: (returning) Phoebe, good work.
Phoebe: Dont worry, well find you someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Phoebe: Im so sorry.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!
Phoebe: Ive got friends too. Okay, bye.