words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Phoebe: And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Phoebe: Good for you!
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Phoebe: Go for it.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.
Phoebe: Hes alive! Hes a-live!!!
Phoebe: (noticing her) Oh, look! Look! Look!
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Phoebe: Oh hey!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Rachel, were sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Phoebe: You sound like a guy.
Jake: Bye Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay bye. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (yelling back) I miss you too!!!! (He walks away.)
Phoebe: Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Phoebe: No, just a regular old flying dwarf.
Phoebe: Ugh, what a kiss ass.
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
Phoebe: No. Why?
Phoebe: Because youre marrying him!
Phoebe: Yes!
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Ross: (to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Rach?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Okay, Im gonna put this (her suitcase) in the car.
Phoebe: The next, next?
Phoebe: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Phoebe: Uh, here. What time?
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me.
Phoebe: Both!
Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea.
Rachel: Phoebe, I already, I already did.
Phoebe: Neither.
Phoebe: And chili!
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Phoebe: Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Phoebe: Oh! Heres Joseph Francis!
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Phoebe: Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
Phoebe: Hi!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: We ruined everything.
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Phoebe: Sur-surprise.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.