words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Phoebe and Joey: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: Me?!
Phoebe: Gary.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Phoebe: I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Phoebe: All right, I can't wait!
Phoebe: Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Phoebe: You wanna work on your interview skills?
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Phoebe: Ohh, impressive.
PHOEBE: Oh my God!� I love things.� What happened?
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Phoebe: Oh God!
Phoebe: All right, you go. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Okay, then maybe I can come too!
Phoebe: 'Kay, bye!
Phoebe: Come on, seriously! When did it end?
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Phoebe: You tired Chandler?
Phoebe: It worked!
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Phoebe: What are you talking about?!
Phoebe: Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup!
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Phoebe: Okay, great so do you want to do it together?
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: Oh good!
Phoebe: Oh good.
Phoebe: What happened to the intimate dinner party?
Phoebe: Hey Rach, you wanna get some coffee?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Like what?
Phoebe: Oh, look at that.
Phoebe: I got it! Mine!
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachels coming to London.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Phoebe: Umm, cups.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Phoebe: You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.
Phoebe: Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
[Chandler and Phoebe feign ignorance.]
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Phoebe: Okay, Widow!
Phoebe: This is so cool!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Phoebe: Wait, Rach! Where's the other one?
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: These are her earrings.
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Phoebe: Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, Im going to have to kick her ass too.
Phoebe: On your dresser.
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
(Phoebe gets up.)
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: I saw it.
Cop: I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay!
Phoebe: Ohh! I did not get that.
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)