words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Phoebe: Rachel.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Who said you were?
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: Really? Ive heard better.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe: (giggles) Im pretty.
Phoebe: No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Phoebe: I would love that job!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Phoebe: Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Phoebe: So hes probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.
(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
Phoebe: God! (She turns and buttons up.)
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Phoebe: (to one of his sisters, Cookie) Hey!
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]
Phoebe: No (tucks it in her pants)