words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Uh, I dont think so!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
Jack: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Jack!! Hey!
Phoebe: You guys!! Come on!
Phoebe: Bread, so you never go hungry.
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Phoebe: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?
Phoebe: Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: (entering, carrying her massage table) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: You guys!
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Phoebe: Ross!!!
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Phoebe: Ohh, youre a freak!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Alex Trebek?
Phoebe: Say we are unagi!
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Phoebe: We should help him!
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Phoebe: Oh!
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
PHOEBE: I think it went into me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Thanks Monica!
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Phoebe: Okay. (Reaches for one.)
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yeah?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
PHOEBE: About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Phoebe: No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again.