words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Oh, just go. Youre never gonna get it!
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt talking about his karma.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: I hate my regular clothes now! Yknow? I look down and-and I know that this isnt gonna be the most special day of my life.
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: Exactly! Because it's in the past!
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
STRANGER: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Okay, then what happened?
Phoebe: No, but you're questioning my method!
Phoebe: Oh, I get a puppy!!
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Phoebe: Umm, oh, about three months.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Phoebe: What were you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are in pajamas and Monica is making something in the blender as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Phoebe: So are you actually gonna see her again?
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: (still in sexy tone) Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me?
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Phoebe: Come on! Look where you are!!
(There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, yknow, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Phoebe: Hornswoggle? (To Chandler) Ooh, this must be killing you.
Phoebe: (reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Now, that's trash. Young lady, you can't (The lady ignores her and walks off.) Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash!
Monica: Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair.
Phoebe: Thanks!
Phoebe: Yeah, welcome.
Phoebe: Really?! What's your name?
Phoebe: You just said
Phoebe: But
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: You're Frank Buffay?
Phoebe: That was my dad!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: My little brothers getting married!!
Phoebe: All right, Ive never been engaged and Ive never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Phoebe: All right.
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: 17 years ago.
Phoebe: She's dead.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Phoebe: That's a defense?
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.]
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]