words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Why?!
Phoebe: Would she?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: It starts?
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: NothingWhy?!
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Ross: Uh, Phoebe
Phoebe: Oh Ross, hi.
Ross: Phoebe!
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Phoebe: Okay, lets talk outside.
Woman: Hi, is uh Phoebe here?
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Woof, woof.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)
Phoebe: Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Im not asking!
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Phoebe: Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
Phoebe: All right, get a room.
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Phoebe: Break my heartOh, all right.
Alice: (entering) Oh-oh, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Your own boat?
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Monica: Whats wrong Phoebe?
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Phoebe: Really?!
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Phoebe: You do?
Phoebe: All right, wait just one more second. Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's. Please leave a message, thanks!
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Did you find the dress?
Phoebe: Yeah, they thought I was a whore.
Phoebe: Come on, take em off!!
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Mischa: (to Phoebe) Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight.
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Phoebe: I love Vegas!
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
Phoebe: Oh my God! Chandler just left though!
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
(Phoebe gets up.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Phoebe: What? You mean behind my back?
Phoebe: Oh hey!
Monica: (handing Phoebe the dress) Go! Go! Go!
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh God!
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Monica: If you tell me, Ill tell you what Phoebe said.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Rachel: I just, Phoebe, said yknow thought she saw something between you guys.
Phoebe: What about, what about when I said yknow about the apartment pants, how dumb was I?
Phoebe: Sorry.
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Monica: Okay, come here! (Phoebe joins them in the hug.)