words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Joey: Oh, youre Phoebes fan!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. Bye!
Phoebe: What?! Really?!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Gary: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: No, nothing.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.
Gary: Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah?
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: That's so sweet.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Phoebe: (smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Phoebe: Yeah, I've been around.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: I don't know! I don't remember!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Phoebe: Well, I can't help you.
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Phoebe: No.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Phoebe: No that made me feel precious.
Phoebe: I do!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Phoebe: Hey, dude!
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Garfunkle.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?