words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Phoebe: Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Phoebe: I am.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Phoebe: I am extremely talented!
Phoebe: What is your job?
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look for the hidden meaning songs.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Phoebe: Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!
Phoebe: I know! I know! I know!
Phoebe: Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Phoebe: Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Phoebe: Estelle? Why?
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Phoebe: I know what time you said.
Phoebe: Thanks! So are you.
Phoebe: (Turning around in the chair) Hi!
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But yknow you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: (dejected) Hi, you guys.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
Phoebe: Yeah, Im a big surprise.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch.
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Phoebe: Dont even get me started on yours!
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont have anyone right now. Yknow?
Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is
Phoebe: Me too!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No! Why?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Phoebe: Rachel said that!
Phoebe: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: Well, we should go.
Phoebe: Well, what did he do?
Phoebe: Joey!
Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy.
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.