words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
(Phoebe enters with Hums While He Pees also known as Kyle.)
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Floopy?
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
PHOEBE: Hey.
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
PHOEBE: Yes.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
PHOEBE: I know.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
PHOEBE: Ok.
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
PHOEBE: Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
PHOEBE: It's James Bond.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Paul.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
PHOEBE: Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.