words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Its a video of my friend giving birth. Could you just bring it back to your apartment?
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Guest #1: See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in!
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Phoebe: Heh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Phoebe: Wait a minute. What's his name?
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: Good one! Yeah.
Phoebe: What happened?
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates. (Monica turns in horror.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: Not that often!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: Definitely!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Hm-mmm.
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Phoebe: Got it.
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
Phoebe: Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Monica: Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Phoebe: (coming back out) Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Phoebe: Why?!
Phoebe: Would she?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: It starts?
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: NothingWhy?!