words in movies
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: I know.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Phoebe: Where?
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
Phoebe: I licked my arm, what?
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Hey. (Phoebe sees his bags)
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
PHOEBE: Nah. Not really.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
PHOEBE: See, I didn't know that.
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
PHOEBE: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
PHOEBE: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
MONICA: Phoebe, tell her!
PHOEBE: Uh huh. Why is that?
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Phoebe: Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy"
PHOEBE: You're there!
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Phoebe: (laughing) You are just nonstop!
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, y'know what? Tell them that bone story.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
PHOEBE: I might have.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Ta-da.
DUNCAN: Phoebe!
PHOEBE: OK.
Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
PHOEBE: What?
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
PHOEBE: And um, and there's actually a, a woman?
PHOEBE: Sure.
(Phoebe spits out her hair.)
Phoebe: It's your thing, and-