words in movies
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: I know.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: He has brown hair.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Hm huh, yeah.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh thank God.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Much less happy!
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Closes door)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?