words in movies
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: I know.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: Well, you were wrong, he doesnt like me!
(Phoebe enters the bathroom)
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe: Were in the bathroom!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh are you and Chandler
Phoebe: So do you want to hang out or something?
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Phoebe: Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?
Phoebe: Well, I left my guitar here again.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: Oh, it has a name?
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Phoebe: You told me you hate massages!
Monica: Phoebe, dont get upset!
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Phoebe: Potato, potaato.
Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Phoebe: (getting uncomfortable) Okay.
Phoebe: Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged!
Phoebe: I mean $500.
Phoebe: 600.
Phoebe: No-no, I got that.
Phoebe: Yes.
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Phoebe: Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)
Phoebe: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
Monica: Uh Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thats it. Just relax.
Phoebe: Come on more!
Phoebe: Yeah, you like that dont you?
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh! Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Oh, you, too.
Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
Phoebe: Ugh. Come on, Mona, dont kiss ass.
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Phoebe and Monica: (sympathetic) Ohh!
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
(Phoebe goes into the hall and brings a dog inside!)
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Phoebe: All right, well I just wanted to say thank you though for diverting Kyles ex.
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: What stuff?
(Joey follows Phoebe into the kitchen)
Phoebe: Will you excuse us, we need to talk for a moment.
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Tim: (walks behind Phoebe) Hi! (And startles her.)
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Phoebe: Okay, good.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh hey you guys!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Well, whats he like?!
Phoebe: Well hes tall.
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy.
Phoebe: He works with food!
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
Phoebe: Obviously, and hes British.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Phoebe: Oh! Hi!
Phoebe: Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Phoebe: (cough talks) Soul mate.
Chandler: (mouths to Phoebe) What?
Don: Thats exactly what I said. Phoebe, isnt that strange.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Phoebe: Yeah?
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Monica: (returning) Phoebe, good work.
Phoebe: Dont worry, well find you someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Phoebe: Im so sorry.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!
Phoebe: Ive got friends too. Okay, bye.