words in movies
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: I know.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really?
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Phoebe: (Enters) Hey!
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Do you not know each other?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
[Scene: Ross is in Central Perk. Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: Oh my god you're right.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
Phoebe: (goes to cry) No
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Phoebe: Uhuh.
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: WHAT! WHY?
Phoebe: WHAT!
Phoebe: It's open.
Phoebe: ok
Phoebe: Oh, the Olympics.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Phoebe: Its negative.
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: ok I can't do this.
Phoebe: Yeah! (Motions to her face, indicating all of Rachel's "make-up.")
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Phoebe: You smoked!
Phoebe: (embarrassed) I�m gonna go. (leaves to stairs)
Phoebe: Where is everyone? They�re forty minutes late.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.
Phoebe & Joey: Hey.
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: Both it is, thank you.
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Phoebe and Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.)
Phoebe: Aw � what?
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Phoebe: well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Phoebe: Oh no, I want to.
Phoebe: It really is.
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
Phoebe: Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)