words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (she smells his head) No!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
(Phoebe grimaces at the smell.)
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
Phoebe: Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally!
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, Im gonna eat like, yknow millions of cows.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Pastrami.
Phoebe: Hm-mm, corn beef.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Six months.
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Joey! Those are my maternity pants!
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Phoebe: Well Its a date.
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Phoebe: She was?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She exits.)
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Phoebe: Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Phoebe: Oh, I wouldnt miss this.
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Phoebe: (returning) Hey you guys, Hums While He Pees just asked me out!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Phoebe: Youre right! Youre right. Dont say it.
Phoebe: Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?
Phoebe: I do too. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (plays with a thumbtack remover) Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse?
Phoebe: Shh! Get me out of here.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Phoebe: No you cant quit college! No! Youre in college? Really?
Eric: Well, I guess Ill see you at the wedding. (Exits and Phoebe follows him into the hall.)
Phoebe: Dont interrupt me!!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Phoebe: Yeah, swing music is so out.
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
(Phoebe winks and licks her lips while eyeing Chandler.)
Phoebe: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!
Phoebe: Thats not mine.
Phoebe: How do you know?
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Phoebe: Okay, I understand why Superman is here, but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunnys funeral?
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Kyles ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her not date her!
Phoebe: Oh no! (She runs to see.) (Running back, excitedly) Oh! Wow!!!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight.
Phoebe: Oh thats right!
Phoebe: Ugh, I hate this year!
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant.
Phoebe: Although, dont feel like you cant visit.
Phoebe: May I ask why?
Phoebe: Chandler?
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Phoebe: Weee!!! (Ross pushes her and lets go.)
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
Phoebe: Oh sorry, boyfriend!
Phoebe: Yeah, hes gotta go.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: No, whatever! Anything!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)