words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (she smells his head) No!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
(Phoebe grimaces at the smell.)
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
Phoebe: Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally!
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, Im gonna eat like, yknow millions of cows.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Pastrami.
Phoebe: Hm-mm, corn beef.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Six months.
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: Ooooh, nice.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Phoebe: All right, I have ya. Oh God.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
Phoebe: Kay, put your head back.
Phoebe: Ick, you were eavesdropping.
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Phoebe: (after a pause) Finish it!
PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.
Phoebe: (entering) Hellooo!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
Phoebe: Its Monicas bed. What?
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
PHOEBE: Yes, yes, and it's, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know? God, and it's not like we can say anything about it, 'cause, like this birthday thing, it's for Ross.
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.
Rachel: Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Phoebe: All right. We're gonna take Clunkers to Rosss. We'll be back in a minute. (Gets up with Monica to do so.)
Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Phoebe: Hey lady, your days over! Its my turn!
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Phoebe: Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night.
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
PHOEBE: Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked?
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay! I justI didnt know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Phoebe: Great, ok faster! "je"
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: (joining him) Love....
Phoebe: Ive found....
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Monica and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Phoebe: Yay!!
Phoebe: (walking back in with her hand over her eyes.) Umm, wheres my purse?
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Monica: Phoebe.
(They start smacking each other's cups, but Phoebe notices a security guard approaching.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Whats block?
Phoebe: Go! Go! Go!
Phoebe: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Phoebe: Touchdown!! Touchdown!!
Monica: Run, Phoebe, run!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Phoebe: Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't?
Phoebe: Woo-yay!!
Phoebe: I love this game!!
Phoebe: Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Phoebe: (interrupting) No, I mean I was really acting my ass off.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
PHOEBE: Didn't it like totally speak to you?
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.