words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Phoebe: (she smells his head) No!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
(Phoebe grimaces at the smell.)
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
Phoebe: Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally!
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, Im gonna eat like, yknow millions of cows.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Phoebe: Pastrami.
Phoebe: Hm-mm, corn beef.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Six months.
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
PHOEBE: Oooh.� Let's do.� Let's send them mashed potatoes.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
PHOEBE: Hey cool, mine too.
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Ahh.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Phoebe: Should we do something?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
PHOEBE: Here we go.
PHOEBE: You're not going?
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Phoebe: Right- where we've been looking all night!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
PHOEBE: OK, let's go.
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
(Phoebe enters with Hums While He Pees also known as Kyle.)
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Floopy?
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
PHOEBE: Hey.
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
PHOEBE: Yes.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
PHOEBE: I know.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
PHOEBE: Ok.