words in movies
Phoebe: (entering, carrying her massage table) Hi!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
Phoebe: Ohh! (She moves.) Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today.
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldnt even have one!
Phoebe: Well, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Phoebe: What do you know?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Alice: (entering) Oh-oh, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ooh! Hi!
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, youre going to have three babies.
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Phoebe: No, back to happy. Back to happy!
Phoebe: No you cant quit college! No! Youre in college? Really?
Phoebe: You cant give up on your dream.
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Phoebe: (entering carrying a case) Ooh, good, youre hear! Okay.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
Phoebe: My Saturn dealership.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Phoebe: Im telling it! Im telling it!
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: The name was my favourite part!
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Phoebe: Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi, and-and ask him if he thinks thats better than Relaxi Cab.
Phoebe: Oh, that is better.
Phoebe: They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Phoebe: Uh-oh. She may be onto us.
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Phoebe: And a scented candle for the bathroom, because well, y'know.
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Phoebe is giving Monica another massage.]
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Phoebe: Oh, look what we almost left. (Picks up a coffee maker)
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Phoebe: Then yes that is what Im having. (Takes another puff of the cigarette.)
Phoebe: Well, I guess well just have to put the wall back up.
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Phoebe: Yknow, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
A Disembodied Voice: (yelling through the door) Phoebe Buffay?!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Phoebe: Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is hard at work.]
Phoebe: Build the unit Cinderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly.
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
Phoebe: You didnt say Boutros Boutros Gali.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Phoebe: (returning slowly) Yknow Im-Im sensing that um, my grandmother would not be comfortable with that.
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Chandler: I see. Yknow umm, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Phoebe: No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
Phoebe: Okay, look I-I-I do something nice, okay? Ill-Ill fill her ice trays.
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Chandler: Phoebe is, making people.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi.
Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums.
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Rachel: (stopping at Phoebes entrance) Ha!