words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Phoebe: The next, next?
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Phoebe: Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! Were done!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Rachel, calm down!
Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!
Rachel: Phoebe, I already, I already did.
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Phoebe: Uh, here. What time?
Phoebe: Finger sandwiches and tea.
Phoebe: And chili!
Phoebe: Both!
Phoebe: Neither.
Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe and Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Phoebe: We ruined everything.
Phoebe: Sur-surprise.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Phoebe: That sounds great!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Phoebe: What? What?
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Phoebe: Oh, are we gonna trash that place?
Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Phoebe: He just got a divorce right?
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Phoebe: No, sorry.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Great!
Phoebe: Oh good!
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Phoebe: Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!!
Phoebe: He shot a bird!
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
[Scene: A kitchen where Phoebe and Monica are finishing up a catering job]
Phoebe: Ohh!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
Phoebe: Shhh!! Please! Whats he saying?
Phoebe: Ooh, what do I smell?
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Phoebe: Remember, a virgin for me please.
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
Phoebe: Heyooh so, how was Vermont?
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Phoebe: Ohhh, wow.
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck!
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Phoebe: Does anyone wanna watch TV?
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Phoebe: Oh, poor baby.
Phoebe: Nope, not knocked up yet.
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.