words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Phoebe: You cant give up on your dream.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
(Phoebe enters.)
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe youll die!
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: Oh, howd that happen?
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Bamn! There you go! Huh?
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Phoebe: Oh-ho yeah! A song with rhyming words. Oo, I never thought of that before.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Phoebe: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
Phoebe: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Phoebe: How did that happen?!!
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Phoebe: Yeah? (Checking the final diaper) Well this is not what I ordered.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Phoebe: What?! What-what-what-what-what?!!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Phoebe: Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Phoebe: And also, my birthday.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: I have plans.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: Very good handshake, good wrist action.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: Hey! I call her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Phoebe: Oh! Suddenly somebody knows all about the side affects!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Well, deep-deep-deep down!
Phoebe: Ready?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: it's...
Rachel: Phoebes...
Phoebe: please...
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: and
Phoebe: It's
Rachel: Phoebes
Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi
Phoebe: leave