words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent.
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Man, tough week for Estelle!
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: I know.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Phoebe: Ok.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Phoebe: What's that?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Phoebe: Morning.
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Phoebe: I did not see that coming.
Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle!
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends.
Phoebe: (screaming) YAY!
Phoebe: (quietly) Yay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Tips not included.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Phoebe: Uh, Joe?
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Monica: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! (Phoebe enters) Hey Phoebe!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]