words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. No. But thanks.
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Monica: No! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey, Monica!
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?!
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe Sr.: I know. Im mad at me too.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Phoebe: Where were you?
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
Phoebe: Well, how much do you think he needs?
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.