words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: You got it!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!
Phoebe: You should be!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
Phoebe: Marcia and Chester.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Phoebe: Sounds like youre a little jealous.
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Phoebe: Well, the interview
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Phoebe: Oh you dont know.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Chandler: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Great! Umm (Monica closes the door again and Phoebe knocks again.)
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Phoebe: You gotta go!
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: I started that!
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Phoebe shakes her hand and says: Phoe-Be.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
Phoebe: Youre on!
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Phoebe: One hundred thousand dollars!
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Phoebe: Fine! Youre on!
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Phoebe: Sure! What?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Phoebe: PHOE-BE.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: Hands.
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)