words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
PHOEBE: Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
PHOEBE: It's James Bond.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Paul.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Phoebe: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
PHOEBE: Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again
PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?
Phoebe: (Sung)
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
PHOEBE: So talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, God bless us, everyone.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: Wow.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Ok.
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebes triumph.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
Phoebe: It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
PHOEBE: Why not her?
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)