words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Phoebe: God! (She turns and buttons up.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Phoebe: Yeah?
The Fan: Are you Phoebe Buffay?
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: (to one of his sisters, Cookie) Hey!
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Joey: We cant watch that! I mean thats Phoebe!
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Youre making one right now!
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Phoebe: What?!
Another Mans Voice: Lets go Phoebe!
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Phoebe: Look, Im talking right now! Youreyou mean her.
Phoebe: Hey!
[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: No (tucks it in her pants)
Phoebe: Wow!
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Phoebe: Which time?
Phoebe: Oh, Pervert Parade?
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Phoebe: How'd you know I was coming?
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Phoebe: Hi!
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Phoebe: Hey, how are you guys doing?
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Phoebe: Oh, give it to me.
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Phoebe: Thank God.
Phoebe: Give it!
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?!
Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Umm, a flea market?
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, Ill give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
Phoebe: Ameri-can.
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Phoebe: Yeah well, in America you're just an "ass".
Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up.
Phoebe: You don't like ice cream?
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
(Phoebe mocks what Monica just said. Ross pulls Chandler aside.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Phoebe: Listen, Roberts gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?
[Pan to Monica and Phoebe having the same conversation.]
Phoebe: Uh, I dont think so!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
Jack: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Jack!! Hey!
Phoebe: You guys!! Come on!
Phoebe: Bread, so you never go hungry.
Phoebe: Surprise! Look whos back!
Phoebe: Yeah.