words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
Phoebe: Oh honey no, you ate it all.
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
Phoebe: Oh No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
Monica and Phoebe: Hugh! Hugh Grant!
Phoebe: (joining in) I love Jacques Cousteau!
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Phoebe: (going over to comfort her) Aww, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat.
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!
Phoebe: Ohhh boy, do I feel bad.
Phoebe: Here, look, alright, does this help?
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
[Time lapse. Chandler and Joey are making the fire, Monica and Phoebe are inside. Ross enters, carrying luggage.]
Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
Phoebe: But people that you don't know and will never see again.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant?
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
PHOEBE: I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone.
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
(He exits leaving a stunned Phoebe and Monica.)
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny...
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Phoebe: Ohh! So, did you get to meet her?
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Monica)
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.
Phoebe: Okay. (singing) Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell Go to hell. Go to hell-hell-hell. Thats all I have so far.
Phoebe: (disbelievingly) Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything!
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?