words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
Phoebe: Wow! Could everyone totally see up his robe?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?
Phoebe: I wanna hear "The Sound."
Phoebe: Come on, give me something. What's his name?
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Phoebe: Well then definately dont take his name.
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
Rachel: Yeah, Phoebe youre awful!
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
Monica: Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! You were really great! You were really, really great!
Phoebe: (looks at her cards) Yes! (everyone looks at her) .... or no.
Phoebe: Well, kinda. Yeah. Yeah.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Phoebe: Does Joey know?
Phoebe: I think maybe, yeah.
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. No. But thanks.
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Monica: No! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey, Monica!
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?!
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe Sr.: I know. Im mad at me too.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!