words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Phoebe: (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily) Thank you, thanks.
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
Phoebe: Yeah, I actually dont know...
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
Ross: (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebes mother also goes by the name Julio.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to respect her decision. Right?
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I think she would like that.
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Come on, Mom, Ill take you home.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: Were all right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Phoebe: Ow!!!
Phoebe: Oh!!
Phoebe: Were all right.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: But if...
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Phoebe: Yes, please.
Phoebe: Okay, listen Robert...
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.
Phoebe: I ate a bug.
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Phoebe: Haaaa... (Puts the skull on the table) ... ahhhh!
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: (rushing in) Okay. If youre alive you answer your phone!
Monica: No Phoebe I am mad!
Phoebe: Okay!
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Phoebe: Bye!!!
Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
Phoebe: Or, or the rodeo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.]
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!!
Phoebe: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: What happened?
Phoebe: Your getting married?!
Phoebe: Frank! Hi!
Phoebe: Do I?
Phoebe: Yeah, I do, yeah.
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Phoebe: Yes. Not out loud.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Umm!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]