words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violationand wonderful surprise.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Phoebe: Shhh! Im talking.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Phoebe: Okay, sorry. Yeah. (They go inside to confront the father.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Phoebe: Oh! We could have done that.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Covers her face with her hand.) Yeah.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Phoebe: Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica.
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe: Really? Thats the thing Im worse at! Youll see. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Hi liar!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: What sex?
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Phoebe: We didnt have sex.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, so do you.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Phoebe: (nasally) Greg and Jenny?
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Phoebe: Oh. Why not?
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, hes kinda sexy.
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I havent told him Im pregnant yet.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh well, I will be there!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Phoebe: Oh, I-I dont eat meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Phoebe: Rachel!
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Phoebe: (writing frantically) You guys, Im sorry, could you please talk a little slower?
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Phoebe: I'm wearing pantyhose!
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Phoebe: (entering, quietly) Wow, you told your dad the truth.
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Phoebe: (seeing her dress) Oh God. So-so youre making porn movies.
Phoebe: Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!
Joey: Phoebe!
Monica: Well Phoebe doesnt eat turkey
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Happy Thanksgiving!
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: What?
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Monica: This is Phoebe.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh okay.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Green Bay.
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
Phoebe: I think you do.
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Phoebe: What?! What else did you do?
(Phoebe makes a sound like a car screeching to a halt.)
Phoebe: Oh! (They all look.) Wow!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Phoebe: I wanna join!
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (louder) My chest hurts! Oh, and now I-I cant breathe.