words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Phoebe: No that made me feel precious.
Phoebe: I do!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Phoebe: Hey, dude!
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Garfunkle.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: You said I was boring--Ohh!
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: Apology accepted.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Phoebe: Ohh! So you're 5639?!
Phoebe: Oh wait, my grandmother's dead.
Phoebe: Who was that?
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
[Cut to Phoebe]
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Phoebe: On a totally different bet.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Gary: (To Phoebe) Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll?
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
Phoebe: Naked alone time.
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Phoebe: Okay, London 1
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Phoebe: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!
Phoebe: Its a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Monica: Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.
Phoebe: So you're a gladiator! Wow!
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Phoebe: Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. (She waves her arm and spreads her joy.)
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.)
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful!
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Fauna.
Phoebe: (singing) Rosssss can!
Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit!
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: You guys are here! Yay!
Phoebe: Ugh!
Phoebe: How do you know about this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Phoebe: Ohhh!
Phoebe: Kills you?
Monica: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Phoebe: (quietly) Bye, fat ass.
Monica: Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?
Phoebe: We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks!
Phoebe: Ohh! You made up!
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Phoebe: I know. Use it.
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Phoebe: Ohh, get a room.
PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?
Phoebe: On the touchy.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?