words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
PHOEBE: Ok. One.
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
PHOEBE: Sure.
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
(He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
PHOEBE: Thinkin' about it.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'
PHOEBE: Oooh.� Let's do.� Let's send them mashed potatoes.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
PHOEBE: Hey cool, mine too.
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Ahh.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Phoebe: Should we do something?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
PHOEBE: Here we go.
PHOEBE: You're not going?
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Phoebe: Right- where we've been looking all night!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
PHOEBE: OK, let's go.
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]