words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
Phoebe: She wasnt a hooker.
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
Phoebe: Oh, theres no such thing as an innocent burger.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
Phoebe: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: No, no, its just my tooth.
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
Phoebe: Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
Phoebe: Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
Phoebe: Ill have coffee.
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: Hey!
(Enter Phoebe and Robert)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Hey.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.
Phoebe: So is it like art?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Umm, I think youre really, really great...
Phoebe: No, I can spot you from here.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Singer: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: No. But thanks.
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Phoebe: Wheres Chandler?
Phoebe: Chandler!!
Phoebe: It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.
Phoebe: No, but lets come back to that later!
Phoebe: What does the sign say?
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: No, the No Smoking sign. Theres no smoking in my Grandmothers cab.
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: Hmm, bummer.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! You threw Pepper on the fire!
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
(The gang all looks at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Please!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Phoebe: You think you know me so well.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
(He hugs her. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: What is this?
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Interesting.