words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Shh! Nothing works with this child! (Hands her back.)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Hm huh, yeah.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh thank God.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Much less happy!
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Closes door)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: You got it!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!