words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. (Points.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Phoebe: Ooh.
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: And why not?!
Phoebe: You're-you're what?!
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. No. But thanks.
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
Phoebe: Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Monica: No! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey, Monica!
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?!
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe Sr.: I know. Im mad at me too.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Phoebe: Where were you?
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
Phoebe: Well, how much do you think he needs?
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)