words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. (Points.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Phoebe: Ooh.
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: And why not?!
Phoebe: You're-you're what?!
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: (intrigued) Oh?!
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.
Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe Sr.: I know. Im mad at me too.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Phoebe: Where were you?
Phoebe: Oh, which museum?
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
Phoebe: Well, how much do you think he needs?
Phoebe: (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Phoebe: Umm, that papers two weeks old.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: Whats wrong Mon?
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Phoebe: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you!
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him.
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.
Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business?