words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: (starting to cry) Thank you so much.
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Phoebe: Hi, guys.
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Phoebe: (sets the cup down) Oh! (Grabs her stomach in pain.)
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is recovering from her false labour.]
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Rachel: And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe!
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Phoebe: They are gonna love me.
Phoebe: Thanks you guys! Again.
Phoebe: Youre the best. Thanks. Oh!
Phoebe: Just kidding. Ahh!
Phoebe: Got cha again, you guys are so easy.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Phoebe: Watching ballroom dancing?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Jack: (approaches her) Phoebe, listen
Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I love it!!
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God Ross!!
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Phoebe: Oh hi!
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Phoebe: Of course!
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Phoebe: Ohh, uh-huh so much!
Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Phoebe: What kind of an emergency?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Well
Phoebe: Okay. (Does so.)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Swear?!
Phoebe: You wont let go?
Phoebe: (thinks it over) Okay.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore!
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Phoebe: What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!
Ross: Phoebe.
Phoebe: What?! Why?!
Phoebe: (seeing him) Oh, hello liar.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monicas wedding dress.]
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, it's my mom's.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey, you guys!
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Phoebe: Yeah, why not?
Phoebe: You're sure? You're absolutely sure?
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, ooh, oohoh, I have a game!
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
Phoebe: (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
PHOEBE: You know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Phoebe: No spark? Didnt you sleep together?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Phoebe: Maybe on some level.
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.
Phoebe: Our apartment is ready.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Hm?
Phoebe: (nods along) Fish!
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Phoebe: Yay, okay!
Phoebe: We did have fun, didn't we?
Phoebe: Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Phoebe: I love the license plate game!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (entering with Erin) Oh. Hey!
Phoebe: A little bit, yeah.
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh me too.
Phoebe: Hi Paul!
Phoebe: No, I do not hear that.
Phoebe: You heard her too?! You have the gift!
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Phoebe: I know. Have you considered pageanting?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?