words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: (starting to cry) Thank you so much.
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Phoebe: Hi, guys.
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Phoebe: (sets the cup down) Oh! (Grabs her stomach in pain.)
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is recovering from her false labour.]
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Rachel: And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe!
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Phoebe: They are gonna love me.
Phoebe: Thanks you guys! Again.
Phoebe: Youre the best. Thanks. Oh!
Phoebe: Just kidding. Ahh!
Phoebe: Got cha again, you guys are so easy.
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Phoebe: Remember, a virgin for me please.
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
Phoebe: Heyooh so, how was Vermont?
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Phoebe: Ohhh, wow.
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck!
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Phoebe: Does anyone wanna watch TV?
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
Phoebe: Oh, poor baby.
Phoebe: Nope, not knocked up yet.
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
Phoebe: Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Phoebe: Well, are any of those people here?!
(Phoebe grimaces at the smell.)
Phoebe: Oh, he-he cant talk right now.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
(Phoebe enters.)
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!
Phoebe: We were out of Doritos.
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
(They start singing, and Phoebe covers her mouth at the American part.)
(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)
Phoebe: Who, Josh?
Phoebe: Yeah, totally!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Phoebe: Six months.
Phoebe: Not if I get there first.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: Oh I know, Ive been there. I remember toward the end
Phoebe: Well, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: I got me some drinks!
Phoebe: What do you know?!
Phoebe: Ooh! Hi!
Phoebe: No, back to happy. Back to happy!
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Phoebe: I'll have one, please. Plus my money.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: No!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Phoebe: Hi!