words in movies
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Phoebe: Oh, you're not a dingus.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi!
All: Hey, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit.
Phoebe: Oh, okay then.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her)
Phoebe: (entering) Hellooo!
Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.
Rachel: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Malcom: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yes? Yes! Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Thank you!
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Phoebe: Sure! What?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
ROSS: Hey, anyone hear from Phoebe yet?
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Right. And with who again? (Ross exits.)
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Phoebe: PHOE-BE.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: Hands.
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: What else? What else?
Phoebe: Enter Pheebs.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Can we come in?
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Is she in there?
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you all right?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it?
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Especially Ross!
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.
Phoebe: Oh. Ah-uh.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey what are you guys looking at?
Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)