words in movies
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Phoebe: Oh, you're not a dingus.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi!
All: Hey, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit.
Phoebe: Oh, okay then.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her)
Phoebe: (entering) Hellooo!
Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.
Rachel: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Malcom: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yes? Yes! Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Phoebe: Yeah Im fine.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Phoebe: Good choice.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: With?
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Okay.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay.
Phoebe: Okay... Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, oh.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.
Phoebe: There you go.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but...
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Phoebe: Trouble?
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So.
Phoebe: All right. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Phoebe: Does he know?
Phoebe: You got me.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: Ooh! A Salami Buddy!
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
(Phoebe walks by, ignoring the two strangers.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Really?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)