words in movies
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Phoebe: Oh, you're not a dingus.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi!
All: Hey, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit.
Phoebe: Oh, okay then.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her)
Phoebe: (entering) Hellooo!
Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.
Rachel: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Malcom: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yes? Yes! Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Phoebe: Ross!!!
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Phoebe: Ohh, youre a freak!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Phoebe: Alex Trebek?
Phoebe: Say we are unagi!
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Phoebe: We should help him!
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Phoebe: Oh!
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
PHOEBE: I think it went into me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Thanks Monica!
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!
Phoebe: Okay. (Reaches for one.)
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yeah?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
PHOEBE: About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Phoebe: No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Phoebe: So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
[Phoebe and Ryan walk outside.]
Phoebe: Okay sure!
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Patrick: Yknow what Phoebe? This isnt really worth the free massage.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]