words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: I saw it.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
[Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room]
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Phoebe: You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Phoebe: Ok, don’t hold thy breath!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: I knew it!
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Phoebe: You're also so generous and kind and scrappy!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Phoebe: City Hall.
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Phoebe: Hey Rach.
Phoebe: You're not making the pies yourself?
Phoebe: Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Oh... okay.
Phoebe: What's Emma doing today?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I was thinking...
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Phoebe: Hey.
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Phoebe: Why not!
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
(Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive)
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Phoebe: Alright, what are we gonna say?
Phoebe: Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Phoebe: Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.
All: Alright, okay. (Phoebe reaches for the door, and tries to open it but it's locked)
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
Phoebe and Rachel: So, so sorry.
Phoebe: So bad.
Phoebe: Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, howd you get this number?
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: I'll pull you through.
Phoebe: Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie?
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Phoebe: Oh, right! Your adoption interview!
Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Phoebe: Mandy.
Phoebe: SARAH!
Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Phoebe: Hey!