words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: I saw it.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here.
Phoebe: (realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him!
Phoebe: Well it depends.
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance
Phoebe: While drinking...
Phoebe: Oh my god.
Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
PHOEBE: (spotting Rachel's dress) Oooh.� Girl's night out indeed.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
(Mike kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Phoebe: All the time when you're cooking.
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt ?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: Every little bit of you!
Phoebe: Yes, she gives the people what they want.
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives away.)
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Eric: Im not smart. (Phoebe has no comeback.) I just wanted so much to be impulsive once. To be romantic.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Hello?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Rachel: No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Phoebe: Right. (Pause) Or you might get everything youve wanted since you were fifteen.
Phoebe: Why??
Phoebe: I want you to stay.
Phoebe: I'll miss you.
Phoebe: Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Holy mother of God!!!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) Im so glad youre here.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Phoebe: Uh huh...we're playing you two.
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Phoebe: Yeah! You bet roomy!
Phoebe: China patterns!!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: But it's just...
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Phoebe: Yeah I get that.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Phoebe: Hi
[Scene:Ross's apartment. Phoebe is at the door.]
Phoebe: Never.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Phoebe: That's not how you really feel is it?
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.