words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: I saw it.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Phoebe: Rachel?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Phoebe: Shocking!
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Really?
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Phoebe: There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, don't stop!
Phoebe: Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Phoebe: Like a date type (looks at Rachel) person?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: She did? Why?
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Phoebe: So Rach.
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
Ross: Hi! (he kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
Phoebe: What's up?
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
[Scene: The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.]
Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh no. Wait.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Phoebe: (nervously) Okay.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Na-ah.
(Sarah picks up some fries from Joey’s plate and Joey looks very angry. Then we’re back to Central Perk and Joey does a you-see-what-I-mean look to Phoebe)
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Phoebe: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.