words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: I saw it.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Phoebe: I'm still on "no."
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Phoebe: Where?
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Phoebe: Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?
Phoebe: (stirring pot) Ok, all done.
Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
Phoebe: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Phoebe: Ben, dinner!
Phoebe: I licked my arm, what?
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
Ross: Hey. (Phoebe sees his bags)
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
CHANDLER: Ok, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
PHOEBE: Nah. Not really.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: What's goin' on?
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
PHOEBE: See, I didn't know that.
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
PHOEBE: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
PHOEBE: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
MONICA: Phoebe, tell her!
PHOEBE: Uh huh. Why is that?
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Phoebe: Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy"
PHOEBE: You're there!
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Phoebe: (laughing) You are just nonstop!
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, y'know what? Tell them that bone story.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
PHOEBE: I might have.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Ta-da.
DUNCAN: Phoebe!
PHOEBE: OK.
Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
PHOEBE: What?
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
PHOEBE: And um, and there's actually a, a woman?
PHOEBE: Sure.
(Phoebe spits out her hair.)
Phoebe: It's your thing, and-
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.