words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica are making some sandwiches.]
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Phoebe: Break my heartOh, all right.
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Phoebe: Your own boat?
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Monica: Whats wrong Phoebe?
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Really?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Phoebe: You do?
Phoebe: That and arrogance.
Monica and Phoebe: No-wait-no-no!!!!!!!
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is trying out different cookie recipes. Ross and Phoebe are the tasting group.]
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Phoebe: Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
Phoebe: Oh yeahNo, she was really nice to me, but shes in hell for sure.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: Thats what you think.
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Phoebe: Oh. Well umm, okay heres a weird thing. My mother was also a supply manager.
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Phoebe: God, I hope they kick his ass!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Monica: Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.
Phoebe: Well lets just say its shes lucky she has a sweet ass, cause shes not so good at the writing.
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe: Oh, can I play too? Ive never played football, like ever.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Phoebe: See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)
Phoebe: (Excitedly) Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket.
Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Phoebe: Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me!
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Phoebe: I'm in vice. Yeah, in fact I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.
Phoebe: Op, the ruined quiches are ready.
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! Im swamped right now.
Ben: (running to the bathroom) Thanks Phoebe!
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Ok, it's too hard, I can't teach you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Phoebe: Yknow, dirty talk, m�nage � trois, toys
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Phoebe: Im curious about the human body.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
Phoebe: Oh, I'd say about a month.
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Yayohyay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!
Phoebe: (still mimicking a heartbeat, only faster) Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-PhoebeBurrrrr! (Mimics the sound of a cardiac monitor going off.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Phoebe: Oh! Im a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hi new dad. (Chandler waves)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Hitchhiker: (driving) Morning! (Phoebe screams again.)
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Phoebe: But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!