words in movies
Phoebe: Wow, its like a dirty math problem.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Phoebe: Why, nobody good?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Phoebe: Oh, really?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Phoebe: So what are they doing?
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Phoebe: You dont play the oboe!
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wouldve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Phoebe: Aww, good. (they hug) What?
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
Monica: Phoebe moved out.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Phoebe: Oh no! Why?
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I dont believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Phoebe: And youre so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And youre kind (kisses him on the lips)
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Okay, its okay.
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Phoebe: Oh. (they start kissing again)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
PHOEBE: Oooh.� Let's do.� Let's send them mashed potatoes.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
PHOEBE: Hey cool, mine too.
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
[Everyone takes a step back from Phoebe]
Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
PHOEBE: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
PHOEBE: You are so smitten.
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Ahh.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Phoebe: Should we do something?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
PHOEBE: Here we go.
PHOEBE: You're not going?
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Phoebe: Right- where we've been looking all night!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
PHOEBE: OK, let's go.
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
(Phoebe enters with Hums While He Pees also known as Kyle.)
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Floopy?
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
PHOEBE: Hey.
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
PHOEBE: Yes.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
PHOEBE: I know.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
PHOEBE: Ok.