words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Phoebe: Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Phoebe: Why?
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a drink as Phoebe enters with the fur coat.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium?
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Phoebe: Nooo!!
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Phoebe: Oh, I know.
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Phoebe: Yes! Exactly! And that's why
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
Phoebe: Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!
Phoebe: Hi Emily!
Phoebe: Here. (She wraps her coat around his shoulders.)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.
Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Phoebe: That sounds great!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Phoebe: What? What?
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Phoebe: Oh, are we gonna trash that place?
Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Phoebe: He just got a divorce right?
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Phoebe: No, sorry.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
(Robert walks away and the guys all start laughing in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Great!
Phoebe: Oh good!
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Phoebe: Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!!
Phoebe: He shot a bird!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
[Scene: A kitchen where Phoebe and Monica are finishing up a catering job]
Phoebe: Ohh!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
Phoebe: Shhh!! Please! Whats he saying?
Phoebe: Ooh, what do I smell?
Phoebe: (holding a lure) So now, what is this now?
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Phoebe: Remember, a virgin for me please.
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh! What is that? What is that?
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
Phoebe: Heyooh so, how was Vermont?
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?