words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.
Phoebe: Oh no, I want to.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Phoebe: It really is.
Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! David!
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)
Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: No...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: Really? Chandler?
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.
Phoebe: Hey!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away)
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.]
Phoebe: Oof...
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait!
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: I am happy.
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Phoebe: No, no. No.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
Phoebe: No, no...
Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah...
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Phoebe: Okay, well... guys?
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Hi, Max!
Phoebe: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Phoebe: Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. (Points.)
Phoebe: Do it!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Phoebe: I can't believe you did that!
Phoebe: We should do something. Whistle.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
Phoebe: I know.
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
Phoebe: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: I guess so. (See, the brief possession didn't affect her at all, like we could really tell.)
Phoebe: I'm in.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
PHOEBE: He's even kind of cute.
Phoebe: Hello.
Phoebe: No, you?
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: I knooow.
Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Fine!
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: Yep!