words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.
Phoebe: Oh no, I want to.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Phoebe: It really is.
Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! David!
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)
Phoebe: A-Allright, well... I'll call the cab company.
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: No...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: Really? Chandler?
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.
Phoebe: Hey!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
Phoebe: Okay. (and she walks away)
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Were you there?
Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.]
Phoebe: Oof...
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait!
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: I am happy.
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Phoebe: Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Phoebe: No, no. No.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
Phoebe: No, no...
Phoebe: Oh, well, yeah...
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Phoebe: Okay, well... guys?
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Yayohyay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!
Phoebe: (still mimicking a heartbeat, only faster) Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-PhoebeBurrrrr! (Mimics the sound of a cardiac monitor going off.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Phoebe: Oh! Im a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Phoebe: Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Hi new dad. (Chandler waves)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Phoebe: No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Hitchhiker: (driving) Morning! (Phoebe screams again.)
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Phoebe: But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street).
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Phoebe: But yknow what? It just seems that you two belong together.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
Phoebe: Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but (peering through her spectacles) I can't see it, I can't see it"!
(Phoebe walks to the door and half-opens it)
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Phoebe: But are you saying that you would move out if I didnt buy that lamp?
Phoebe: Yeah, hes really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
Ross: Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.]
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Monica: (entering from her room) Phoebe! (Motions for the earrings. Phoebe gives her the one-minute sign.)
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Phoebe: (ignoring him and continuing her conversation) That's what I'm saying. (Laughs.)
Ross: I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Phoebe: Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Phoebe: Or you could stick a fork in an apple!