words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Okayyyyy, open up!
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Phoebe: Oh sure, Cilantro Larry.
Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business?
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Monica: No! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey, Monica!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Phoebe: But weve only had one job.
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa
Phoebe: Monica!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Phoebe: She's a waitress.
Phoebe: Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Phoebe: Oh no! No God, definitely not jealous!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi guys!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.
Phoebe: Huh!
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: No, I'm fine.
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Phoebe: (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Phoebe: You'd already broken up.
Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.
Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
Joey: Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.
Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!