words in movies
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
(Phoebe and Mike enter.)
PHOEBE: Hi
PHOEBE: (spotting Rachel's dress) Oooh.� Girl's night out indeed.
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
PHOEBE: Oh my God!� I love things.� What happened?
PHOEBE: Eye-contact?
PHOEBE: I hope you were using protection.
RACHEL: Oh.� (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?
PHOEBE: Oooh.� Let's do.� Let's send them mashed potatoes.
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
[Scene: The bar.� Two men are chatting with Rachel and Phoebe.]
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I see what you mean.� By the way, nice Ross imitation.
PHOEBE: But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.
PHOEBE: (pointing) Better!
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
PHOEBE: (to Rachel) He says he can't do that.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
MIKE: All right.� I'll do it.� (Phoebe gives the thumbs-up sign to Rachel.)� But really, how much dirtier can it get?
PHOEBE: (knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike.� Bye.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Rachel and Phoebe enter.)
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: (pause) Well, good bye.
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
RACHEL: Oh shoot.� I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.� (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.)� Wait, wait.� Sorry.� Did he call?� Did that guy call?
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Phoebe: m'ap
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: London is stupid! Stupid!
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldnt even have one!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Well, it felt French.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Rachel: Phoebe, woo!
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Phoebe: (excited) Central (not so excited) Park!
Phoebe: Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
Phoebe: Oh no. Did umm, did she say why?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Phoebe: Jeez, you say one thing, and...
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet!
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not bad.
Phoebe: Oh my God, she's so stupid!
Phoebe: Yeah, I do. Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy shes done.
Phoebe: Hey.
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
PHOEBE: Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh...
Phoebe: Hi! And you're going into what grade?
Phoebe: They are. Why?
Phoebe: Happy birthday!
Phoebe: Can I tell you a little secret?
Phoebe: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Phoebe: You're right.
Phoebe: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?
Phoebe: Oh, just ask him!
(There's an awkward silence then suddenly Phoebe gets an idea.)
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Phoebe: Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Phoebe: Hi!
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Phoebe: Works on you.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?
Phoebe: Ugh, PBS!
Phoebe: Yeah. So?
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: I'm having my first contraction!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Phoebe: Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p...
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
Phoebe: Yeah that's better than my way.
[Rachel and Phoebe enter]
Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!
Phoebe: Yeah, by Sandrine.
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!