words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Rachel: No-no Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph (She starts laughing.)
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (worried) What?
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Rachel: Oh God.
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Rachel: Okay look Mr. Zelner
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two oclock position.
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Rachel: Thank you were so excited
Rachel: Hmmm .
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Ross and Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Man: Rachel!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, theyre returning from the party.]
Rachel: Well, that wouldve been very hard to say no too.
Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Rachel: Goodnight
Rachel: I will think about it.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD.
Rachel: Oh stupid metric system!
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Rachel: God she is unbelievable.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Rachel: What? What happened?
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
Rachel: Have you been working out?
(Ross continues to talk to her as the camera pans to show Rachel standing in the doorway.)
Rachel: You too!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yknow what? I am going to do something today. Im not just gonna sit around like some old lady. Im gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Rachel: Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
RACHEL: I am. Let me just get my coat.
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
<Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen>
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!