words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Rachel: Really Joey?
Rachel: Yeah.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing around.
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Rachel: Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Great!
Rachel: Oh please, you inhale your food!
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
[Scene: Fortunata Fashions, Rachels new job.]
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: (now standing behind Ross) Ross!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: We use it!!
Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
Rachel: So Pheebs, pick one of them.
Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Rachel: (throws her stuff down) I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Dina and Rachel are reading pregnancy books, Dina Pregnancy for Dummies and Rachel something else.]
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Rachel: Hi!!
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Wow! Umm....
Rachel: He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Rachel: I know.
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Good.
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?
Rachel: Well, that shouldnt be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
Rachel: You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
Rachel: Huh?
Rachel: Small...
RACHEL: You want me to see a therapist?
Rachel: Petty...
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Rachel: Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing" thing but um, Emily called you today.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Rachel: Y'know what?
Rachel: I cant do this.
Rachel: You sure?
Rachel: It depends on who asked.
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Rachel: Oh, Mon, sure.
Rachel: Yes. (Pause) Youre not asking are you?
Rachel: Yes! Totally!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
Rachel: Hey, Sophie!
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?