words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Rachel: Tag
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Rachel: You can go.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Rachel: Im not?
(Phoebe and Rachel enter.)
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: What?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Rachel: (entering) Oh good youre still here!
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
(Rachel exits.)
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
Rachel: Wait, I-I just said "leave."
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: (seeing him) Hi!
Rachel: Seriously. What?!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Rachel: (confused) What?
Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.
Rachel: They do!
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Rachel: (stops) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Rachel: (shocked) Hi!
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: What married?
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Rachel: Oh, everything went great.
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: (laughing nervously) Oh, what a fun office.
Rachel: Welcome home.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: What is?
[Someone bumps into Rachel and she drops the pie in a guy's hood that's seated at the table. She improvises by using the plate as a saucer for the coffee.]
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Rachel: You know you kissed me first.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)