words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: No, Im fine.
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Rachel: Excuse me?!
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: were you this irritating?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: She has the drugs!
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Rachel: Great! We will do all of those.
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Hi!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Why? Why today?
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Rachel: That proposal, at the planetarium
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: Give her some money.
Rachel: (overhearing that) What-what about me?
Rachel: Yeah, but umm Yes, but, Fonzie was already cool, so he wasn't hurt, right?
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: How are you?
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.)
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Marc: Oh hi Rachel.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Rachel: Oh. Oh wait no.
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Rachel: New people.
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Ooh! Ow!!
Rachel: Ross.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]
Rachel: Hes looking at me.
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Rachel: Yeah it was.
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Oh! Im sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Rachel: Oh come on!!
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Rachel: I-I am not uptightHey-hey-hey-oh-oh! Listen, I am not uptight, man.
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: I get it!
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Rachel: Okay. (Rachel lies back.)
Rachel: But I hired you!
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Oh hi.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!