words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you off?
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Phoebe: So, how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is at the counter, serving coffee to Phoebe.]
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
Rachel: Uhh I think I just got engaged.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: (closes her magazine) Can I get you some water?
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Rachel: I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
[Scene: A bar.� Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
Rachel: Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
Rachel: Well! Good night. (to Ross) Im going upstairs.
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what, I didnt want cinnamon on this.
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: Oops! All right, so what do you want to do now?
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)