words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Sure we should... So.
Rachel: Hey, you.... So, what's up?
Rachel: Mindy.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Rachel: Oh sure it is!
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Rachel: Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Rachel: What? What's what you were afraid of?
Rachel: Oh no, I cant. I got a date.
Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Rachel: Hey. Got a second?
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Rachel: Oh God.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Rachel: You don't know?!
Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (Yawning) Nooo...
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Rachel: What does she mean?
Rachel: Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: She could be you.
Rachel: That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!
Rachel: What? You just click when they click.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, youre not home.
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: (laughs) You know what?
Rachel: No, forget it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Rachel: There were times when it wasn't even me.
(Monica stares at Rachel)
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Ethan called again.
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: True story.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book!
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Rachel: Rossy, Rossy.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Rachel: Mommas Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. (They exit with the cheesecake.)
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Any chance you think the couch looks good there?
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Rachel: Oh, that's funny!
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Rachel: Ok?
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Rachel: And your fly's still open...