words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Rachel: Hi!
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
Rachel: Yeah?
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
(Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: Oh... Bye guys.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Rachel: Oh my God!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What... What...
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (we see Ross stare in disbelief)
Rachel: Aw..
Rachel: Hi! Oh my gosh!
Rachel: Oh my gosh. Wow, so beautiful.
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Rachel: I will. Ross, come here.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel bursts in.]
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry I spoiled youre evening.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Rachel: Oh, shoot. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this.
[Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.]
Rachel: Hello?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Okay! (She picks up the phone, Joeys phone number, and starts to dial.) Here we go! Okay! (On phone.) Hi, Joey! Its Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.
Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay?
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Rachel: What? Why?
(Rachel hangs up.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane.
Rachel: Well...
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Rachel: Wait, what are you doing?
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Rachel: Yeah, okay.
Rachel: This is ridiculous! I...
(Rachel leaves as well.)
Rachel: Could I get some peanuts?
Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate)
Ross: Rachel! Rachel!
Ross: Rachel! Rachel Green!
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
MRS. GREENE: Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God.
Phoebe: (screaming) RACHEL!!
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Yes, I do.
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Excuse me?
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Rachel: I do love you.
Rachel: I got off the plane.
(Rachel gives him a look.)
Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Rachel: I know. It seems smaller somehow.
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Rachel: Okay, should we get some coffee?
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!
Rachel: Honey, youre not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives.
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)