words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Uhh, hang in there?
Rachel: No. She doesnt die.
Ross: (on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"
Rachel: I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Rachel: No, I stuff outside the bra.
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
RACHEL: Here. I thought you might be cold.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.
Rachel: Oh nothing I Sorry, I just cant stop crying.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene Barry's office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (jumping up to answer the phone) Hello!
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!
Rachel: Good, good, good, good, good. (She runs to the drums and gets the sticks)
Rachel: Ooh, I have to go pack. (Gets up to do so.) It really does?
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is confronting her boss, Terry.]
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Rachel: Okay, all right, give me the mug! Ill keep the mug.
Ross: (stops) I justyknowI-I just have oneRachel?!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Rachel: (surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)!
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Rachel: Ohh. (She touches his arm for support and likes what she feels) Ooh!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
(Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.)
Rachel: Well... he happens to be a very nice... guy....
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is throwing Paolo's clothes over the side.]
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Rachel: Oh! That would be sooo much fun!
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Rachel: Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Rachel: Well, I guess I could take a couple days off work.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?