words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Oh, slides. (Laughs.) So really nothing happened.
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Thank you. I yeah.
Rachel: Ross thanks.
Rachel: Yeah-eah-ha!
Rachel: Yeah do it now, call right now.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are playing phone pranks on Ross.]
(Rachel get suspicious)
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!
Rachel: Hm-mmm.
Rachel: Ugh, she is a slut!
Rachel: Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Rachel: No.
Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane.
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Rachel: Absolutely not.
Rachel: Probably just the first half.
Rachel: No, absolutely. Yknow like it was umm
Rachel: What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.
Rachel: Oh-okay, but Pheebs?
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Rachel: What?! You kissed!
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Rachel: What?!
(Rachel discreetly coughs to warn her.)
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
(He closes the door before Rachel can say anything.)
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Rachel: Merrill Lynch?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Rachel: (gasps) Rob Tillman!
Rachel: Ohh! Okay!
Rachel: Wow! How are you?!
Rachel: Ohh! Me too!
Rachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.
Rachel: Ohh, I would love too.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Rachel: (she's finished reliving the fridge of its entire alcohol content.) Macadamia nut?
(She hangs up as Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Mon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Rachel: Oh yeah.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Rachel: Hes coming over! Hes coming over!
Rachel: Ah!
Joey: (shaking Rachels hand) Hi!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
(Ross and Rachel approach, theyre still yelling at each other.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Rachel: Yeah sure, iced tea would be great.
Rachel: Umm, can I use your bathroom?
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)