words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Monica: Rachel?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Rachel: Hi, sure!
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes?
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Rachel: Ohh, well you got em.
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Hello, Paul.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Guess what?
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: Uh, credit card.
Rachel: Um... my... father.
Rachel: I don't think so.
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: Sorry-
Rachel: Sure, but come on, as big as your wedding?
Rachel: I knew.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe...
Rachel: Goodnight.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
(Rachel enters from her room.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Rachel: Oh, I am sorry...
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Rachel: You're twins?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Rachel: A lot.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah and Im a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Rachel: The lights, please..
Rachel: Barry?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Rachel: I dumped him.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Rachel: Okay..
Rachel: Wow.