words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Rachel: No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: You didnt break up with that fireman?
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.
Rachel: Fine! Well ask Phoebe.
RACHEL: Well those are very popular frames.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Rachel: I hope it's okay.
Rachel: Okay, uhh, I think Im going to run to the ladies room.
ROSS: [long pause] She's not Rachel.
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
Rachel: Just one drink?!
Gunther: Rachel has those in burgendy.
Rachel: Yes!!
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? We don't need her measurements.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah, looks that way. First ones here! Wooo!!
Rachel: Oh, ah with who?
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
[Ross approaches Rachel at counter.]
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Rachel: (entering, interrupting them) Hey guys! What's... (sees what they're doing and stops, the guys are stunned)
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
RACHEL: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much.
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Rachel: (quietly) Yes.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Rachel: Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
RACHEL: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Rachel: That is so cool.
Rachel: Does it still hurt?
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Rachel: (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
Rachel: Ohh, thank you.
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
Rachel: You said she was bald!!
Rachel: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Rachel: Ask me what?
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my....
Rachel: Take it like a man, Ross!
Rachel: Oh, come on!
Rachel: (to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, youre practically giddy.
Rachel: Just once!
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Really?!
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Monica, please?
Rachel: Oh, come on!
Ross: Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!
Rachel: Oh, great.
Rachel: (startled) Oh!! My God, what are you doing here?