words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal.
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
Rachel: Ohh
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Rachel: I think so.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Rachel: You know, when two people have a connection, you know, that's... just seems like such a... waste.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah.
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
Rachel: Oh my God. (starting to cry)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Rachel: (hanging up the phone) I got the job!
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
[Scene, The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running]
Rachel: I wanna say a disease.
Rachel: What?! What?! What?!
Rachel: Op, ice. I need ice.
Rachel: What are you doing?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Rachel: Oh, okay. Will you take my place?
Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why?
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
[Cut back to the present, Rachel has made her decision.]
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Rachel: What were you thinking?!
Rachel: Wh?!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Rachel: Not great.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-ifare you sure there's just not anything else?
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
Rachel: Oh great!
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Rachel: Ohh
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."
Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Joey?!
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Exactly!
Rachel: Are you serious?!
Rachel: Yeah.
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Rachel: Charming.
Rachel: Hey you!
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: Exactly.
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
Monica: Hmm? (Rachel holds up the candlesticks.)
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Rachel: Pick one.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
Rachel: So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (To Monica) Yeah, youre on your own.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Well thank you, you too.
Rachel: Hi!