words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!
Rachel: Oh! That's great!
Rachel: So hi!
Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey?
Rachel: Really? Excited?
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Rachel: Ah... Well, obviously I think so too.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
(Chandler looks dejected. Rachel picks up another gift.)
Rachel: Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal.
Rachel: What? What is it?
Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.
(Rachel runs up cluching an envelope.)
Rachel: Hi!
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's what we do.
Rachel: Seriously, good night!
Rachel: Shhh.
Rachel: We weren't doing anything!
Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: No, no, no!
(Rachel looks at him.)
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
Rachel: No, but you know what I mean.
Rachel: Can I ask you a question?
Rachel: Calm ourselves?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Rachel: Well, what would we be doing?
Rachel: Feel me up?
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Oh, you bet.
Rachel: Okay, well, we brought you some wine.
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
Rachel: No awareness.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Rachel: Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill.
Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!
Rachel: O-kay!! See what you did, Im gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
RACHEL: I didn't know you guys hung out.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Rachel: Ooy.
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Rachel: No, no, it's just that it's getting late...
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Chandler: So, you and Rachel tonight, huh?
Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel enter the room]
Rachel: So.
Rachel: Ok, so sorry.
Joey and Rachel: Okay
(Joey and Rachel start kissing)
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Rachel: Oh, wait before you guys go, can I just ask you a question?
Rachel and Joey: Okay.
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Well this is romantic!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
Rachel: (laughing) oooh! Oh oh!
Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, she’s smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!
Rachel: Ok professor or detective?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Rachel: Hey! Got champagne?
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Rachel: I just had a rough night.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Rachel: What is the matter with us?
Ross: Rachel! Well, you-youre not at home, youre-youre-youre right here.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Rachel: Right, totally.
Rachel: Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Aah... I bet you're right.