words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
Rachel: ...pig...pig man!
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
Rachel: Mhm-mh!
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: (starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: Settle what?
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Rachel: I'm in.
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Phoebe: Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off)
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: (hands him one) Here you go.
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: How many you want?
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
Rachel: Yes!
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.