words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Rachel: Well, things change.
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: Oh my
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Rachel: (screaming) Melissa!
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Im gonna do it too!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Rachel: The commercial?
Rachel: Mexico?
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Rachel: I said Ill do it!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Okay?
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Anything?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Rachel: One hour.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?