words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Rachel: Oh God, ohh, okay, y'know what, do you think ah, do you think that you just forget that I told you this?
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Rachel: Phoebe, woo!
Rachel: Yeah, what's it about?
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I don't care.
Rachel: Well, y'know what, that doesn't matter.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is pouring Rachel coffee.]
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, I'm really trying to tell you something here.
(Rachel starts laughing hysterically.)
Rachel: (Laughing) I'm so dead serious. I'm totally serious.
Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
Rachel: High-five, the babies are coming! (They all high-five.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Rachel: Goo--ood night!
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Youre all gonna be aunts and uncles.
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
Rachel: Me?!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Rachel: Hi!
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Yeah, fair enough.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Rachel: Oh, how does he look? How does he look?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
Rachel: Yeah, umm, no honey.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Monica: Rachel always cries!
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Rachel: Hey, wait a minute! That is my sock!
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Rachel: Like what?
Rachel: Oh God. Im sorry about this.
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Rachel: (entering) Hi, guys!
Rachel: Oh yeah! I know.
Rachel: (interrupting) Oh my God! My dog died!