words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?"
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Rachel: Youre jokin right?
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Rachel: Yep!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Rachel: Oh. (Realizes.) Ohhhhhhhhh .
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: You found me a guy?
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Rachel: All right.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Oh, hi.
Rachel: Yeah?
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Rachel: Yeah, Im good.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Rachel: Thank you! (Storms out.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Huh. All right.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Rachel: I'm sorry, what?
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Oh, little Xs! Great! That makes up for everything!
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Rachel: Okay, Im done. Do mine.
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
Rachel: I can't believe it! I got a second interview!
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
(Rachel dials her number.)
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: Fine!
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Rachel: So now, what exactly is the point of the box?
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Rachel: Noo! Oh God we didwe didnt, we didnt uhh
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.