words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: So, what, youre just, youre just okay with being flaky?
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Rachel: I am not a pushover!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
(Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Rachel: Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now whos a pushover?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine!
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Emily: How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear!
Rachel: I also said number one.
Rachel: Cmon, seriously, you guys, youre not going to make me watch this alone!
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: But I insist harder!
RACHEL: She'll be a much better friend when the market closes.
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
RACHEL: He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking.
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Rachel: James Brolin?
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: (to Danny) We'll be right there! (To Rachel) Can't you just say it starts later?
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I
Rachel: (opening the door) Hi Daddy.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Rachel: Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
RACHEL: Oh, come on squeeze it.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, youve waited long enough!!
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh, Im sorry what?
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Rachel: Shes steaming her dress, why? Whats up?
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Gavin: Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. (Rachel is upset)
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
(Rachel enters, she has changed clothes.)
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
RACHEL: Oh, gosh, it's hot in here.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.
Rachel: (picking up another random badge) Kate Miller?
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
Rachel: Yeah, I did. I needed my lucky dress.
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Rachel: Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel is out to join Kim and Nancy.]
Rachel: Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could!