words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Come feel this! Come feel my belly!
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Mia Hamm!
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Okay. Oh GodOw!Oo!
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Rachel: Yeah, everythings fine!
Rachel: Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Whats up?
Rachel: (Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Rachel: Well, I
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
[Scene: Airport. Madonna's Take A Bow plays in the background as Rachel waits at the gate with flowers.]
Rachel: Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here?
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
Rachel: What if I clean your bathroom for a month?
RACHEL: Oh, yeah, well hey, welcome to our sauna.
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Rachel: Hello, Mrs. Chatracus.
Rachel: Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Rachel: Yeah, sure, okay. Okay.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Oh.
[Cut back to Rachels date.]
Rachel: Your parents?
Rachel: Yeah that works.
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Rachel: Ohh.
Rachel: I ah Oh! Ill squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Rachel: Ah.
Rachel: I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!
Rachel: Hi you!
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Hello.
Rachel: Yes.
[Rachel gets up and opens the door, yelling after him.]
Rachel: So?
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
Rachel: Huh.
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely!
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Rachel: Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Do you guys want these?
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine.
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Rachel: Youre a pathetic loser, right?
Rachel: Ohh! (Realises that Ross is in the room.) Hi!
Rachel: Okay. (Writes a little more) I am so hot!
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
Rachel: What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?!
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Rachel: What? Shut up! Were winning!
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi.
Rachel: Oh, hmm.
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: (to Monica) So, how was your date?
Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Rachel: I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
(Rachel comes back carrying a shoe box.)
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh, thats sweet.
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Fine.
Rachel: Oh yeah, no, whats that?
Rachel: That would be great!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.