words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Come feel this! Come feel my belly!
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Mia Hamm!
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Okay. Oh GodOw!Oo!
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Rachel: Yeah, everythings fine!
Rachel: Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Whats up?
Rachel: (Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Rachel: But I
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
Rachel: It is? Really?
Rachel: She is so cute! You could fit her right in your little pocket!
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Rachel: Oh, thats true.
Rachel: Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think?
Rachel: What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: And Mrs.?!
(Monica and Rachel's door opens and Rachel and Paolo emerge)
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Rachel: Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Rachel: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.
Rachel: Why, where are you going?
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Rachel: Oh wow.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Rachel: Hey, hubby!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just thinking youre day could still pick up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Monica!
Rachel: We didn't change..
Phoebe: Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: Yeah, and not a very good one.
Rachel: Oh, yknow what you should get em? One of those little uh, portable CD players.
Rachel: Thank you. So how-how bout you, are-are you seeing anybody?
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
Rachel: Well
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: I don't know... I mean, I've never looked at you that way before.
Rachel: Really? Really?!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Really?! How do you know?
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Rachel: (answering it) Hello?
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
(Rachel mumbles uh-huh and spits the half-eaten cookie out onto the tissue.)
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?
Dr. Green: But what?! You figured youd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Rachel: Well theres an idea!!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: Ugh! (Stares at him.)
Rachel: Okay, umm, Im gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Rachel: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot.
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!