words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Come feel this! Come feel my belly!
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Mia Hamm!
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Okay. Oh GodOw!Oo!
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Rachel: Yeah, everythings fine!
Rachel: Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Whats up?
Rachel: (Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
[Rachel, in her bridesmaid dress, complete with hat, which makes her look like Little Bo Peep, and Ross enter]
Rachel: Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
RACHEL: OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.
Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.]
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you�re okay. I�m so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Rachel: Okay. Its okay. Were gonna be okay. Yknow what? Its okay. Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Rachel: Oh we justwe drove each other crazy!
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: (sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!
Rachel: Ross, I swear, I dont know.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Rachel: I mean its the end of an era!
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Rachel: Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
(Rachel enters the room and checks the answering machine)
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Rachel: (on phone) I've got magic beans. (Listens) Never-never mind.
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know, werent you the guy that told me to quit my job when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
Rachel: Does anybody need more coffee?
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Rachel: In Human Resources!!!!!!
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
(Rachel and Joey hug, and Rachel turns to enter the apartment through the side window again. At that moment Joey tries to climb over the edge of the balcony.)
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel have just gotten another wedding present.]
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
All (except Rachel): Congratulations! (Rachel looks devastated)
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Rachel: Oh Joey, I cant believe you brought my boss into this! Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
Rachel: Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing.
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful!
Rachel: Were not gonna do this, all right? Shes just gonna think that were doin it.
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there, discussing the night before.]
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
Rachel: Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
RACH: Yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna get some cake. [Phoebe and Rachel go to counter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.]
[The door opens and Chandler comes in. Rachel covers the door with a blanket]
Rachel: Oooohh that’s interesting.
Ross: No! Come on letsOne more time! One final push! Ready? 1 2 3! (Rachel pushes so hard her head snaps up head-butting Ross and knocking him down.)
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Monica: And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And thats Chandler.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachels old and now empty room.)
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Rachel: Its so secluded up here.