words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Come feel this! Come feel my belly!
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Rachel: Mia Hamm!
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Okay. Oh GodOw!Oo!
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Rachel: Yeah, everythings fine!
Rachel: Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Rachel: I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Rachel: Whats up?
Rachel: (Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: Yeah.
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Rachel: What-what-what are you gonna do?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: Yeah uh, y'know what uh, let's skip it.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: Let me finish.
Rachel: Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards into a vase.]
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: I can't believe you would say that!
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Are they in love?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Rachel: What? YetiI mean Danny?
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Rachel: What's up?!
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
Rachel: Nothing! You go!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Rachel: Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Rachel: There he is!
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
Rachel: Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Well, it's my cat.
Rachel: Oh-ow!
Rachel: Sure! Why?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Hey! Hi!
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Rachel: Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
RACHEL: Ya know, Dr. Burke kissed me once.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Rachel: What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me!
Rachel: Hi sweetie!
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: Why?! Why not?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: You are the official baby crier stopper!
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Ohh, good.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you dont feel that now. It was crazy! Youre fine. Youre better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everythings normal! Shes just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.