words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Rachel: Hmm.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Rachel: Guess who we ran into today?!
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse.
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?
Rachel: Wow! If only more people knew.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Look at this!
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Rachel: And did you?!
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: Hello, Mrs. Chatracus.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Rachel: Thank God.
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know. Ross, I still cant forgive you for what you did, I cant, I just, but sometimes when Im with you I just, I feel so...
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
Rachel: Yeah. (turns around) Hi Mark!
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
RACHEL: Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
(Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed)
Rachel: Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh?
Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do?
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
(They pick up the couch and after throwing off the last pillow; Rachel helps out on Chandler's end.)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine!
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
Rachel: Oh, Im fine. (Gasps in pain as she sits down.)
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Emily: How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear!
Rachel: I also said number one.
Rachel: Cmon, seriously, you guys, youre not going to make me watch this alone!
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: But I insist harder!
RACHEL: She'll be a much better friend when the market closes.
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
RACHEL: He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking.
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
Chandler: Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Rachel: James Brolin?
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: (to Danny) We'll be right there! (To Rachel) Can't you just say it starts later?
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I
Rachel: (opening the door) Hi Daddy.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Rachel: Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
RACHEL: Oh, come on squeeze it.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, youve waited long enough!!
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh, Im sorry what?
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Rachel: Well, yknow, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that couldve meant.)
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Rachel: Shes steaming her dress, why? Whats up?
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)