words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Rachel: Hmm.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Rachel: Guess who we ran into today?!
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse.
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?
Rachel: Wow! If only more people knew.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Look at this!
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Rachel: And did you?!
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: Hello, Mrs. Chatracus.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Rachel: Thank God.
RACHEL: Um, everyone?
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: That's not European!
RACHEL: Ok.
Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..
RACHEL: That's 'cause you have it.
Rachel: Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
RACHEL: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
RACHEL: Ok, I will have the uh, (whispers) side salad.
RACHEL: Me neither.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
RACHEL: Fine.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
RACHEL: Happy birthday.
RACHEL: Oh!
RACHEL: What party?
RACHEL: Who gave you that hickey?
RACHEL: Oh!
Rachel: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: What's up?
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Rachel: Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
RACHEL: Honey, I'm sorry.
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Done.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Rachel: (breaking the kiss) Oh God!
Rachel: Im not paying for half of that! Im only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
RACHEL: Well, but Pheebs.
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Customer: (To Rachel) Ahh, miss? More coffee?
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
RACHEL: Do you?
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Rachel: We hate that guy.
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Do you have any ice?
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
RACHEL: You don't have birds.
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Rachel: (coming from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs?
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!
Ballerina: I love you! (Hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
[Rachel enters.]
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
[Rachel takes a bite.]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[Rachel enters.]