words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Rachel: Chandler, theres a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Rachel: Hmm.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Rachel: Guess who we ran into today?!
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Rachel: (starts laughing, Ross stares at her) Im sorry. Im sorry. Youre right, you are a tough guy. Youre the toughest palaeontologist I know.
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Rachel: No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse.
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?
Rachel: Wow! If only more people knew.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Look at this!
Rachel: I dont care! The wires have come loose in your head!
Rachel: And did you?!
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: Hello, Mrs. Chatracus.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Rachel: Thank God.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.
Rachel: What's that?
Rachel: Oh, somebody will.
Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on?
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Rachel: How long?
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Rachel: He is so cute!
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?
Rachel: I already fed her.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Rachel: Not even with your best friend.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: Ohh, I mean its just so realistic!
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What's that?
Rachel: So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!
Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Yeah, but, there were no suds.
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Rachel: What uh-oh?
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Come on, show me.
Rachel: ah ha ha. ah ha ha. <evil meancing laughter> It's forty five.
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks!
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Rachel: Are you sure?
Rachel: Oh, are you sure you're ok?
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Jill: (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off.
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Rachel: What is it?
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Tah-daaah!
Rachel: Well, whaddya think?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Rachel: Ubb.
Rachel: That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.
(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)
(Rachel enters from her room.)
Rachel: Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.
Rachel: Who is being loud?
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)