words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Rachel: Oh, heres that trench-coat that you wanted.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Rachel: Well, thats because of a lot of (She imitates someone picking their nose and placing the treasure found in the pockets.)
Rachel: I know!
Rachel: Oh?
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: Surprise!!!
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
[Cut to later, the party is in full swing. Rachel is in the kitchen and Chandler goes over to talk to her.]
Rachel: Uhh, because Im trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick hes looking over here, say something funny.
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Rachel: Care for a cherry?
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
(Rachel enters, she has changed clothes.)
Rachel: Oh, could somebody give me a hand with this zipper?
Rachel: Up!
Rachel: Yeah, I did. I needed my lucky dress.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Rachel: Ohh, God! Look at him, hes so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Its not Christmas!
Rachel: Hes not 11!
Rachel: What? Youre leaving?!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Rachel: Yay! Emily!
Rachel: Okay, my turn!!
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Rachel: Just a bug.
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! (Runs into the living room) Ready! Okay! Gimme an E!
Rachel: Gimme an M!
Rachel: Gimme an I!
Rachel: Gimme an L!
Rachel: Gimme a Y!
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Gunther: Rachel is my girlfriend.
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control.
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
Rachel: Why?!
Rachel: You like me?
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I cant believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no dont say but! No-no, buts never good! Lets just leave it at, you like me and I like you.
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Rachel: But .
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
Rachel: Im so sorry.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Youre a pathetic loser, right?
Rachel: Sit!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Rachel: Theyre not true?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I love that but.
Rachel: You wanna go inside and have some coffee?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
Rachel: (confidently) I did!
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Rachel: Jeez!
Rachel: Oh. (smiles) Heres your moisturiser. Hi!
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Rachel: No, no, no, wait! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go!
Rachel: Lets do it! Ross?
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Rachel: So, I still have boxes here. I still have boxes at Rosss, and I have nowhere to live! Wow. I could so easily freak out right now.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Oh, yes! Well have ourselves a little baby Ruth
Rachel: OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important.
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Rachel: You dont pick me! Youre stuck with me!
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: Oh, well okay. Well, there you go.
Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Over here!
Rachel: Wait, how long?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Rachel: Wait, what am I gonna do?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Rachel: Now, does it really matter?
Rachel: You know what honey, you go ahead, well call her an alternate.
Rachel: Down at the docks again?
Rachel: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, Im gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come?
Rachel: Ohh!
Rachel: I went really long.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Rachel: Hm-mm.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]
Rachel: Yeah!!! Kill um!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
RACHEL: Phoebe's dead.
Rachel: When did you go to a sperm bank?
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Rachel: Thank you! Break!
Rachel: And heels.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: What?
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Rachel: Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
RACHEL: No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.
RACHEL: Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Rachel: The fear?
Rachel: Yeah.
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Rachel: Gunther, I quit.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Thanks.
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Rachel: Oh... okay, just hide!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
Rachel: Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Wow.