words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Rachel: Oh, heres that trench-coat that you wanted.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Rachel: Well, thats because of a lot of (She imitates someone picking their nose and placing the treasure found in the pockets.)
Rachel: I know!
Rachel: Oh?
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
Rachel: Oh, its just an anti-theft device.
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Rachel: Surprise!!!
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
[Cut to later, the party is in full swing. Rachel is in the kitchen and Chandler goes over to talk to her.]
Rachel: Uhh, because Im trying to play hard to get. Oh, quick hes looking over here, say something funny.
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Rachel: Care for a cherry?
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
(Rachel enters, she has changed clothes.)
Rachel: Oh, could somebody give me a hand with this zipper?
Rachel: Up!
Rachel: Yeah, I did. I needed my lucky dress.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Rachel: Ohh, God! Look at him, hes so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Its not Christmas!
Rachel: Hes not 11!
Rachel: What? Youre leaving?!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Rachel: Yay! Emily!
Rachel: Okay, my turn!!
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Rachel: Just a bug.
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! (Runs into the living room) Ready! Okay! Gimme an E!
Rachel: Gimme an M!
Rachel: Gimme an I!
Rachel: Gimme an L!
Rachel: Gimme a Y!
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Gunther: Rachel is my girlfriend.
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control.
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
Rachel: Why?!
Rachel: You like me?
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I cant believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no dont say but! No-no, buts never good! Lets just leave it at, you like me and I like you.
Rachel: Oh, now see thats a fancy but.
Rachel: But .
Rachel: Okay.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, Im sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
Rachel: Im so sorry.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Youre a pathetic loser, right?
Rachel: Sit!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Rachel: Theyre not true?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I love that but.
Rachel: You wanna go inside and have some coffee?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
[Scene: Rachels hotel room, shes waking up with a horrendous hangover.]
Rachel: Who wrote it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
Rachel: Yeah, no, I don't-I don't put things in my eye.
Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?
Rachel: I have.
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Rachel: I did.
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Rachel: Really?
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Oh, that must be it.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?"
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Rachel: Youre jokin right?
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Rachel: Yep!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Rachel: Oh. (Realizes.) Ohhhhhhhhh .
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: You found me a guy?
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Rachel: All right.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Oh, hi.
Rachel: Yeah?
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Rachel: Yeah, Im good.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Rachel: Thank you! (Storms out.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Huh. All right.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Rachel: I'm sorry, what?
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?