words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Rachel: No. No.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: What-what about Monica?
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Huh umm
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Water it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: No, Im not.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Coming.
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Oh that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Rachel: Oh damnit!
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Rachel: Oh crap!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: And-and what else?
Rachel: Very good.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: What line?
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Oh I
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
RACHEL: Um, everyone?
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Rachel: That's not European!
RACHEL: Ok.
Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..
RACHEL: That's 'cause you have it.
Rachel: Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
RACHEL: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
RACHEL: Ok, I will have the uh, (whispers) side salad.
RACHEL: Me neither.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
RACHEL: Fine.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
RACHEL: Happy birthday.
RACHEL: Oh!
RACHEL: What party?
RACHEL: Who gave you that hickey?
RACHEL: Oh!
Rachel: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: What's up?
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Rachel: Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
RACHEL: Honey, I'm sorry.
Rachel: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Done.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, shes gonna love me.
Rachel: (breaking the kiss) Oh God!
Rachel: Im not paying for half of that! Im only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
RACHEL: Well, but Pheebs.
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Customer: (To Rachel) Ahh, miss? More coffee?
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
RACHEL: Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
RACHEL: Hey.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
RACHEL: Do you?
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels apartment, Rachel is unpacking as the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Rachel: We hate that guy.
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Do you have any ice?
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
RACHEL: You don't have birds.
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
RACHEL: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Rachel: (coming from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs?
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!
Ballerina: I love you! (Hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
[Rachel enters.]
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!
[Rachel takes a bite.]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[Rachel enters.]