words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Rachel: No. No.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: What-what about Monica?
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Huh umm
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Water it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: No, Im not.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Coming.
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Oh that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Rachel: Oh damnit!
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Rachel: Oh crap!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: And-and what else?
Rachel: Very good.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: What line?
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Oh I
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Rachel: Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just cant pretend that didnt happen can I?
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?
Rachel: How is she?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Oh, God! Please, somebody say something.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Rachel: Yeah, I forget which ones.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Rachel: (entering) Hey, guys, what's up.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Rachel: What?!
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh. Oh my God.
Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Rachel: Really? Me?
Rachel: Well, you're not totally paranoid.
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
RACHEL: "Oh, my, god."
RACHEL: We won. We won!
RACHEL: All right, bye-bye.
Rachel: Bye-bye-e!
RACHEL: How did this happen?
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
RACHEL: Ok, so let's talk money.
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
RACHEL: Well, what about my stuff?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Good different?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
RACHEL: Ok, you win.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
(Rachel slips, loses her balance, and falls over the edge..)
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Rachel: I had a bra.
RACHEL: What!
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Rachel: You're not an artist.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.