words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Rachel: Hi! Hi Ben!
Rachel: Oh, yeah go ahead.
Rachel: No. No.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: Awww, just like his daddy.
Rachel: What-what about Monica?
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Huh umm
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah I think so.
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Rachel: Okay. Uh, want something-want something to drink?
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Rachel: Water it is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: No, Im not.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I-I-Im funny Ben, but Im not stupid. Okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Coming.
Rachel: Uh-oh.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Rachel: Oh that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: (looking at his mark) Yes.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Rachel: Oh damnit!
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Rachel: No dont! Go back to repeating!
Rachel: Oh crap!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: And-and what else?
Rachel: Very good.
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Carol Lesbian?
Rachel: What line?
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Oh I
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Rachel: Yay!
Rachel: Yeah!
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Rachel: Ohh that'd be great!
Rachel: Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!!!
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohh, thank God! Finally!
Rachel: Great! Thanks!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, Im opening mine.
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Rachel: No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: What?!
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
(Rachel slowly leaves the apartment.)
Chandler: Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel, Kim, and Nancy are all puffing away on their cancer sticks.]
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Hey! What's up?!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Rachel: What?!
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Rachel: What?! We can't do that!
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
Rachel: All right, so are we not having dinner at all?
Rachel: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Rachel: Noooooooo!
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Rachel: Yeah well unless we tell him.
Rachel: No, wait. Wait.
Rachel: Right?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Rachel: But Erin Brockovich had her own house.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Rachel: Hey! Hi!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: What?! What? What happened?!
Rachel: (gasps) Really?!
Rachel: Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.
Rachel: Well, there you go!
Rachel: Oh?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, you guys
Rachel: Is Monica here?
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Rachel: Yes it is!
Rachel: A thousand bucks.
Rachel: Okay, bye-bye!
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
(Rachel gets fed up and heads over to another smoker.)
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. (walks into living room)
Rachel: Okay, a thousand.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?