words in movies
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: Settle what?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Rachel: I'm in.
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)
Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Ross: (mimicking Rachel) Mee mee, mee-mee mee.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Rachel: How many you want?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Rachel: Hi!
(Rachel enters and interrupts Phoebe's song.)
Rachel: Yeah?
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
(Rachel leaves.)
Rachel: Oh... Bye guys.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Rachel: Youre lookin at it upside downyknow what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesnt matter.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Rachel: Oh my God!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What... What...
Rachel: The job is in Paris. (we see Ross stare in disbelief)
Rachel: Aw..
Rachel: Hi! Oh my gosh!
Rachel: Oh my gosh. Wow, so beautiful.
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Rachel: I will. Ross, come here.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel bursts in.]
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry I spoiled youre evening.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Rachel: Oh, shoot. I had it. Oh, I can't believe this.
[Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.]
Rachel: Hello?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Okay! (She picks up the phone, Joeys phone number, and starts to dial.) Here we go! Okay! (On phone.) Hi, Joey! Its Rachel! Umm, I am free tomorrow night. Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.
Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay?
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Rachel: What? Why?
(Rachel hangs up.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane.
Rachel: Well...
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Rachel: Wait, what are you doing?
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Rachel: Yeah, okay.
Rachel: This is ridiculous! I...
(Rachel leaves as well.)
Rachel: Could I get some peanuts?
Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate)
Ross: Rachel! Rachel!
Ross: Rachel! Rachel Green!
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
MRS. GREENE: Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God.
Phoebe: (screaming) RACHEL!!
Ross: Rachel?
Rachel: I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Yes, I do.
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Excuse me?
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Rachel: I do love you.
Rachel: I got off the plane.
(Rachel gives him a look.)
Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Rachel: I know. It seems smaller somehow.
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Rachel: Okay, should we get some coffee?
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!
Rachel: Honey, youre not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives.
Rachel: Uh great! How do you feel about Diet Coke?
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)
Rachel: Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense.
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder.
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Rachel: Menstrual cramps.