words in movies
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: Settle what?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Rachel: I'm in.
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)
Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Ross: (mimicking Rachel) Mee mee, mee-mee mee.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Rachel: How many you want?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I said Ill do it!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Okay?
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Anything?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Rachel: One hour.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Rachel: Umm Im never gonna getting married!
Rachel: Thanks.
Rachel: All right, Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs!
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Phoebe: Rachel, calm down!
Rachel: Right.
Rachel: Okay. But wait!
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Lets go to lunch.
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: You look so beautiful.
Rachel: Hello?
Rachel: What? Why? Where are you?
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Rachel: (leaning in) As are you
Rachel: Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)
(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)
Monica: (To Rachel) He took off?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Rachel: Uh-huh.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
RACHEL: Time is money my friend?
Rachel: What cha doing Mon?
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you! (He does so and Rachel sits down on the couch.)
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Umm, maybe you can start with, "Chandler, even though we were friends; there was a part of me that always knew I wanted more."
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch alone working on a crossword puzzle. Gunther is there, going into the back room.]
Rachel: I cannot believe Im gonna meet Jessica Ashley!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Rachel is now three sheets to the wind and Joey is watching her.]
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
[Scene: Back in the restraunt. Rachel pours the last of the champange bottle in her glass.]
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Yay!
Ross: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?
Rachel: Okay. NowWhat is my first line?
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you.
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! I cant go! Im gonna be too nervous!
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Rachel: See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time?
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Rachel: Im sorry
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Rachel: During a blackout? He'd get trampled!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Rachel: Oh yeah.
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
Rachel: For you. (Chandler leaves.)
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Rachel: No.