words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.
Rachel: Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!
Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.
Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!
Rachel: Barry who I almost.
Rachel: Mindy, my maid of. Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Rachel: Hi, how was the movie?
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.
Chandler: Rachel lost Marcel.
Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
Rachel: Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!
Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?
Rachel: Anybody wanna trade? Oh...
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Rachel: Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.
Rachel: Y'know Marcel?
Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Rachel: O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...
(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)
Rachel: Hi, thanks for coming.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Luisa: Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa!
Rachel: Yes!!
Rachel: None.
Luisa: Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. (To Rachel) But you? What a bitch!
Rachel: What?!
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Rachel: Marcel?
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Luisa!
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Rachel: That'd be good.
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Barry: Rachel.
Rachel: Barry?!
Ross and Rachel: Oh!
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Hey you.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
RACHEL: Really? Mine too.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
RACHEL: Just one cheek.
RACHEL: Rub it.
RACHEL: C'mon touch it.
Rachel: No, no, no.... the, um, the... 'love' part?
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
RACHEL: What's this.
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
[Rachel and Ross enter]
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
RACHEL: I know.
RACHEL: It's OK, it's fine.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: We won't?
Rachel: All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us!
RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out.
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
RACHEL: Really?
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
RACHEL: Grape.
RACHEL: Oh, God.
RACHEL: Ah, so what are we looking at?
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Rachel: Well-well, I dont know Rossreally?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Rachel: I-I-I don't know.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: (proud of herself) Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
RACHEL: Well I. . .
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
RACHEL: [reluctantly] Uh-huh.
RACHEL: No. Well, yeah, maybe.
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
RACHEL: Uh-huh.
RACHEL: What's 1922?
RACHEL: No.
RACHEL: You?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
RACHEL: What was the book?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Man: For God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel!
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.