words in movies
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Rachel: I didnt write it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no, no!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Rachel: Oh my God Ross! What in heavens name are you doing here?
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Rachel: so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
Rachel: Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Rachel: Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine!
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Rachel: Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster!
Rachel: Ed Begley Jr. is not gay.
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is flipping through magazines. Handyman is installing things. Monica enters.]
Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this!
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Rachel: Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Rachel: Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh?
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel is trying to sell the cat.]
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
Chandler: Sure, you guys dont have this problem, youre made of wood. (Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Chandler: Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Rachel: Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry!
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Rachel: That yeti is one smooth talker.
Rachel: Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)
Rachel: Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles!
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Rachel: Its not random, its Bob.
Rachel: (hesitant) Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice...
Rachel: Be-because the last one was such a big seller?
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Rachel: I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go!
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Rachel is returning from her date with Dave.]
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)