words in movies
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Rachel: I didnt write it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no, no!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
Rachel: ...pig...pig man!
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
Rachel: Mhm-mh!
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: (starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: Settle what?
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Rachel: I'm in.
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Phoebe: Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off)
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: (hands him one) Here you go.
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: How many you want?
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
Rachel: Yes!
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.