words in movies
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Rachel: I didnt write it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no, no!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Rachel and Chandler: Hey.
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Rachel: Well try to keep it down.
[Scene: The Hospital, Ross and Rachel, whos in a wheelchair, are arriving in the waiting room for the maternity ward.]
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Behind my brother's back? (Rachel glares at her) ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me.
(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)
Rachel: (interrupting him and seeing Joey) Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here!
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes in her closet bringing down her pair of roller blades from a top shelf.]
Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
Rachel: Oh, howd she take it?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
Rachel: Oh... Oh, Pheebs.
Rachel: So, whaddya think George is like?
Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.
Rachel: (waitressing) Does anybody want anything else?
Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Rachel: You.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.
Rachel: Of course, I'd be honored!
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure...
(Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.
Rachel (as Monica): Right.
Rachel: Was that the cake?
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, coming!
Rachel: Oh, that's great. Look at that.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: (pouring the wine) Sick-sick-sick-sick.
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: Hello! Here we go!
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi!
Monica: Rachel! That was a library card!
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
Rachel: ...pig...pig man!
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
Rachel: Mhm-mh!
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.