words in movies
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Rachel: I didnt write it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no, no!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, there you go!
Rachel: Oh?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, you guys
Rachel: Is Monica here?
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Rachel: Yes it is!
Rachel: A thousand bucks.
Rachel: Okay, bye-bye!
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Rachel: Umm, listen, I'm gonna need to take a rain check, my roommate is just really sick. Okay? Bye! (She goes back in to talk to Ross.) Honey, listen, I know, I know things seem so bad right now.
(Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
(Rachel gets fed up and heads over to another smoker.)
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
Rachel: Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. (walks into living room)
Rachel: Okay, a thousand.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)
Rachel: Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.
(Rachel goes into the bathroom as the guys continue throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!
Rachel: What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: So were done then!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay. Okay!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Rachel: Damn!
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Rachel: Bye you guys!
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: All right!
Ross: Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (thinks) Four.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!