words in movies
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
Rachel: I didnt write it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are unpacking and setting up their new purchases.]
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: Oh uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee, a little rub-rub-rub under the table.
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no, no!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Right! (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Well, things change.
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: Oh my
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Rachel: (screaming) Melissa!
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Im gonna do it too!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Rachel: The commercial?
Rachel: Mexico?
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Rachel: I said Ill do it!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Okay?
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Anything?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Rachel: One hour.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?