words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
Rachel: Oh my
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Rachel: I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Really? You think so?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
Rachel: Oops sorry, my mistake.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Rachel: Taurus?
Rachel: Virgo?
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two oclock position.
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is returning from having removed Rachels panties.]
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no. Presents first. Food later. (walks into living room)
Rachel: Okay, a thousand.
Rachel: Yes! Thank you! Exactly! You want it?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)
Rachel: Yeah, 15 hundred dollars.
(Rachel goes into the bathroom as the guys continue throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!
Rachel: What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: So were done then!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay. Okay!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Rachel: Damn!
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Rachel: Bye you guys!
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: All right!
Ross: Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (thinks) Four.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.)
Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-Iwould youactually, would you go check on that?
Rachel: Yep!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey!
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too?
Rachel: Career counselor?
(Monica and Rachel enter breathless.)
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
(Rachel starts to laugh, and Ross notices her.)
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Rachel: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Rachel: That sounds great.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure?
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.