words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
Rachel: Oh my
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Rachel: I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Really? You think so?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
Rachel: Oops sorry, my mistake.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Rachel: Taurus?
Rachel: Virgo?
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two oclock position.
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is returning from having removed Rachels panties.]
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: And everybody knows this?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey!
Rachel: What bank is this?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!
Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.
(Rachel tackles Monica onto the couch.)
(Rachel arrives with a lot of clothes)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Rachel: Uh, Joey..
Rachel: Oh, so everything's okay?
MONICA: Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
Rachel: Oh, it's so much more fun with you.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.
Rachel: What's that?
Rachel: Oh, somebody will.
Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on?
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Rachel: How long?
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Rachel: He is so cute!
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?
Rachel: I already fed her.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Rachel: Not even with your best friend.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: (bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!
Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Rachel: Ohh, I mean its just so realistic!
Rachel: Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What's that?
Rachel: So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!
Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Rachel: Yeah. (Stops and starts doing the I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom dance.)
Rachel: Yeah, but, there were no suds.
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
Rachel: What uh-oh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Ross, what's the matter?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Come on, show me.
Rachel: ah ha ha. ah ha ha. <evil meancing laughter> It's forty five.