words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Rachel: Oh, that's funny!
(Rachel enters, in a formal dress.)
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Rachel: Yeah, why?
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Rachel: Ok?
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Rachel: (anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?
Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: I'm a waitress.
Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.
Rachel: Ok. That's fine. (takes her earrings out)
Rachel: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Rachel: Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?
RACHEL: Rub it.
RACHEL: C'mon touch it.
Rachel: No, no, no.... the, um, the... 'love' part?
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
RACHEL: What's this.
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
[Rachel and Ross enter]
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
RACHEL: I know.
RACHEL: It's OK, it's fine.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: We won't?
Rachel: All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us!
RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out.
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
RACHEL: Really?
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
RACHEL: Grape.
RACHEL: Oh, God.
RACHEL: Ah, so what are we looking at?
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Rachel: Well-well, I dont know Rossreally?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details.
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Rachel: I-I-I don't know.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: (proud of herself) Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
RACHEL: Well I. . .
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
RACHEL: [reluctantly] Uh-huh.
RACHEL: No. Well, yeah, maybe.
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
RACHEL: Uh-huh.
RACHEL: What's 1922?
RACHEL: No.
RACHEL: You?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
RACHEL: What was the book?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Man: For God's sake, will you let it go? There's no Rachel!
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
RACHEL: Ok, we never shoulda talked about this.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
RACHEL: Not at all inappropriate!
RACHEL: Really?
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
RACHEL: Well?
RACHEL: I guess.
Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: I didn't know that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!
Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel?
RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet.
RACHEL: Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
Rachel: Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
RACHEL: What's goin' on?