words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Ohh
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: I think so.
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why?
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
Rachel: What are you doing?
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Rachel: What?! What?! What?!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: What were you thinking?!
Rachel: Wh?!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat?!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Not great.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: Oh great!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Rachel: Ohh
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: Exactly!
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Joey?!
Rachel: Are you serious?!
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Rachel: Charming.
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Rachel: Hey you!
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Rachel: Exactly.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Rachel: Pick one.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here
Rachel: Yes!!!
Rachel: Oh, he sees her!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Rachel: Oh my God! How?!
Rachel: Heard what?
Rachel: Oh, God. Oh, God. (gets worried) Oh God.
Rachel: Ughh! (Storms out after him)
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
Rachel: Pheebs, thats great!
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Rachel: Oh yeah!
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Chandler!
Rachel: So, will I like any of these guys?
Rachel: Well, so what does he do?
Rachel: Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!
(A woman with a steel drum and a guy with a xylophone start playing an instrumental version of "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley. A bridesmaid and a groomsman walk down the isle. Next are Rachel and Ross, who carries Chappy in his arms.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
Pete: Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Rachel: You idiot!!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Rachel: Did he call? Did Mark call?
Rachel: Oh come on, I already went.
Rachel: Well that sounds fun too. (They hug.)
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Rachel: Umm, when were you gonna tell me that youre going out with Chip Matthews?
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me?
Rachel: My God, Im sorry! Im sorry! I didnt mean to do that! I wouldnt do that!
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Rachel: You guys are really right there arent you?
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Rachel: We need a hat..
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Yeah, you should, really.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
Rachel: Yknow, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.]
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
RACHEL: What? Come on, you do what you want to do. Do we always have to do everything together?
Rachel: Umm, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas are probably already in Monica's head.
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
Rachel: Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our apartment back?
Rachel: Well I-I-Im not moving.
Rachel: Noooo.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Rachel: Oh, I cant watch this. (turns her eyes away)
Rachel: How did it go?
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Rachel: Ross, can you pass me the yams?
Rachel: No its not!
Rachel: Op, I like credit cards!
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Rachel: Okay, so anyway Im sittin in my office and guess who walks in.