words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Ohh
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: I think so.
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why?
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
Rachel: What are you doing?
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Rachel: What?! What?! What?!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: What were you thinking?!
Rachel: Wh?!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat?!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Not great.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: Oh great!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Rachel: Ohh
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: Exactly!
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Joey?!
Rachel: Are you serious?!
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Rachel: Charming.
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Rachel: Hey you!
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Rachel: Exactly.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Rachel: Pick one.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Rachel: Hmmm... this is so nice.
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Rachel: Uh, lets rip!
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Rachel: Tag
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, its just not the right time.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Rachel: You can go.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Rachel: Im not?
(Phoebe and Rachel enter.)
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Rachel: What?
Tag: Oh, its crazy about Rachel huh?
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Rachel: (entering) Oh good youre still here!
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
Rachel: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
(Rachel exits.)
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
(She opens the door and Rachel hides behind it.)
RACHEL: Great, people having sex, that's just what I need to see.
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
Rachel: Wait, I-I just said "leave."
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: (seeing him) Hi!
Rachel: Seriously. What?!
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Rachel: (confused) What?
Rachel: Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.
Rachel: They do!
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Rachel: (stops) Okay.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Rachel: (shocked) Hi!
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Rachel: Excuse me?
Rachel: What married?
Rachel: Okay. Head Ross! Head Ross! Head Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hi.
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Rachel: Oh, everything went great.
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: (laughing nervously) Oh, what a fun office.
Rachel: Welcome home.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: What is?
[Someone bumps into Rachel and she drops the pie in a guy's hood that's seated at the table. She improvises by using the plate as a saucer for the coffee.]
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Rachel: You know you kissed me first.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)