words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Ohh
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: I think so.
Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight?
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why?
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, hi!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after hes left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars.
Rachel: Ugh! So close!
Rachel: What are you doing?
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Rachel: What?! What?! What?!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: What were you thinking?!
Rachel: Wh?!
Rachel: Why would a charity give away a free boat?!
Rachel: Ugh!
Rachel: Phoebe, dont you think youve had enough to drink?
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Not great.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: Oh great!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Rachel: Ohh
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Rachel: Isnt it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin married.
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still talking.]
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: Exactly!
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Joey?!
Rachel: Are you serious?!
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Rachel: Oh, seriously?
Rachel: Charming.
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Rachel: Hey you!
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Rachel: Exactly.
Rachel: What? Who?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
(Rachel gets all happy.)
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Rachel: Pick one.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Rachel: All right, so we werent prepared!
Rachel: Some uh, some visual aides.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Rachel: We are looking at a Playboy.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Rachel: Ehh, pardon me?
Rachel: Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up.
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Rachel: Oh, of course!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Rachel: Say it!
Rachel: Say it!
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Rachel: Well yknow, I dont want you to be cold.
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Rachel: (She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Rachel: Oh-oh, thats a risky little game!
[Scene: Rachels hotel room, shes waking up with a horrendous hangover.]
Rachel: Who wrote it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
Rachel: Yeah, no, I don't-I don't put things in my eye.
Rachel: Well, then can we meet him?
Rachel: I have.
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Rachel: I did.
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Rachel: Thats a line from the show too!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Rachel: Really?
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Oh, that must be it.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Rachel: Thanks!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Yknow Bob in Human Resources
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?"
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Rachel: Youre jokin right?
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Rachel: Ugh. (She goes over and lays her head on Phoebes lap.)
Rachel: Yep!
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Rachel: Oh. (Realizes.) Ohhhhhhhhh .
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: You found me a guy?
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Rachel: All right.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna