words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Me too!
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Rachel: Hypothetically!
Rachel: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Rachel: Fine!
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Rachel: How come you are?!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Okay, uh
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Thanks!
Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Rachel: Ohh, wait a minute, we havent pre
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Rachel: Aw, thanks!
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Rachel: Hi Pheebs.
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Rachel: You do? Why?
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Rachel: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Rachel: What are you shushing?
Rachel: I dont know, Im sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
RACHEL: Are you kidding me?
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Rachel: Bathroom's up there.
RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
RACHEL: What's the matter?
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
RACHEL: How did you make $17.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous!
RACHEL: Oh, thank God.
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
RACHEL: Why the voice.
Rachel: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
RACHEL: For what?
RACHEL: Oh no.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: I, I don't have it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Rachel: Ow! Ow! Contraction. (Sits back down.) Ow-ow! Ow-ow! (Starts breathing heavily.)
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
RACHEL: Look at her.
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Rachel: ...Jack from downstairs?
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
[Rachel enters]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]
Rachel: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.
Rachel: Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Why.
RACHEL: Daddy.
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
RACHEL: I do.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
RACHEL: Yeah, like a chimney.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: Oh ok.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
RACHEL: Well I've had it.
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!