words in movies
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Rachel: I-I, got a job at Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
[Scene: Rachels office, Phoebe hands Rachel a key card.]
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?
Rachel: What? What!?! You kissed him?
Rachel: (Gasps) Phoebe are you serious?
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: Phoebe
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Rachel gets on her boss Kim is there.]
Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesnt even look up from her report.)
Rachel: So you know, I I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.
Rachel: Ahh .So Wow The spring line, its really going to be great this year, huh?
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Rachel: To get you to make out with him!!!
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Rachel: Ohh, hi, Kim.
Kim: Hi Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Rachel: No.
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Rachel: I did but she doesnt think anyone would be stupid enough to confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: You were with Kenny today, werent you?
Rachel: Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do?
Rachel: Im not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldnt.
Rachel: That wouldnt help me.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
Rachel: Kim, hi.
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Rachel: Okay..Okay.. Look. Im sorry that I lied to you before. You were right. Ralph and I were an item but were not anymore.
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
Kim: Ohh honey come here. (Hugging Rachel.) Ohh it will be ok. Weve all been there.
Rachel: You and Ralph?
Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a silent clap.)
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
RACHEL: Hey, Mon, you want some help?
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
Rachel: Ohhh!!!! (looking at something behind Ross)
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!
Rachel: I know. I know, but yknow condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Rachel: Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, <shakes head no> not the same thing.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
RACHEL: Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress.
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Rachel: (to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I dont think I have the energy for this.
Rachel: That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I can go freshen up?
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly.]
[Cut to inside the apartment, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
Rachel: Oh. Im sorry. Im very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) Its just, Im ahh, Im kinda excited. Im, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
(Phoebe kisses Rachel on the cheek, then joins her team.)
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Rachel: We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe theres a like league we could join or something.
Rachel: Okay-okay that-that's amazing. How did you know that?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
Rachel: I know that. That's why I was getting married.
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel’s there and Ross enters the room with a stuffed dinosaur]
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Rachel: Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!
Rachel: Hi! (to mr Zellner) Excuse us.
Rachel: Jurassic Park could happen.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Rachel: No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams.
Rachel: So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes!
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
ROSS: Until now. [jumps on Rachel on the bed]
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Rachel: Im not saying that Im a lesbian! Im just saying that this happened!
Rachel: Oh no, at the Grammies I always win.
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: He carries a briefcase.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
Rachel: Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!
Rachel: No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.
Monica: "Hi Im Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, Id better wash it and shrink it!"
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
Rachel: Im having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come?