words in movies
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
(Rachel turns and stares at him.)
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: What are you reading?
Rachel: Honey that sounds like fun.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: Well, honey that was pretty obvious.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: (sitting down) So umm, what's this book about?
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Rachel: A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?!
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
The Teacher: Well, go ahead Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
Rachel: Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Rachel: That was not funny!
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Rachel: You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!!
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Rachel: Look! (Shows Ross the picture.)
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Rachel: And the video camera?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Rachel: You're twins?
Rachel: Oh.. a little..
Rachel: A lot.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah and Im a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Rachel: The lights, please..
Rachel: Barry?
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Rachel: I dumped him.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Rachel: Okay..
Rachel: Wow.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God.... (Starts to look under the couch cushions.)
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Rachel: Since when?
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: And everybody knows this?
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
Rachel: Chandler, what are you doing?
Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey!
Rachel: What bank is this?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Rachel: Oh God, she mu... she must need her diaper changed.
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!
Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.
(Rachel tackles Monica onto the couch.)
(Rachel arrives with a lot of clothes)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Rachel: Uh, Joey..
Rachel: Oh, so everything's okay?
MONICA: Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
Rachel: Oh, it's so much more fun with you.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.
Rachel: What's that?
Rachel: Oh, somebody will.
Rachel: What? What? Ross, you're scaring me. What's going on?
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Rachel: How long?
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Rachel: He is so cute!
(As Barry exits Robbie stares at Rachel.)
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?
Rachel: I already fed her.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Rachel: Not even with your best friend.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Who?