words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Thank you!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: You had a club?!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: What rumor?
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Monica, how come you never told me this?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: What?
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: Wow
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Rachel: Well, things change.
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Rachel: Grammy, Best New Artist.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Rachel: Well no brush!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
Rachel: Oh my
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Rachel: Oh, no, meh-nah-nah-nah, come on youre gonna ruin it!
Rachel: (disgusted) owwwww...
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Rachel: (screaming) Melissa!
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Rachel: Im gonna do it too!
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Oh well
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
[Ross is speaking to Monica and Rachel about tipping the super.]
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Rachel: Do you really want an award you didnt win?
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Rachel: Oh thats great!
Rachel: The commercial?
Rachel: Mexico?
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Rachel: I said Ill do it!
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Hi!
Joey: Uh, I think hes in Rachels room. See ya. (Exits.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Okay?
Rachel: No. Why?
Rachel: Anything?
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Rachel: One hour.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?