words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Thank you!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: You had a club?!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: What rumor?
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Monica, how come you never told me this?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: What?
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: Wow
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm so sorry, you were right, this feels great!
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Monica: (upon seeing Rachel she points) Oh.
Rachel: No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!
[Scene, Central Perk: Rachel, Ross and Monica are there]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Wh-what do you mean?
Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Phoebe
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Rachel: What? What!?! You kissed him?
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Chandler: Yeah. (Rachel walks in.)
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Rachel: Will you stop calling it your apartment!
Rachel: Well, okay, look. I don't know, listen, I don't know what's going on here but let's
Rachel: What?
Rachel: To get you to make out with him!!!
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
Rachel: Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?
Rachel: Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier. Rachel starts laughing.]
Kim: Hi Rachel.
Rachel: Ohh, hi, Kim.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Oh no, no, no. Oh God, you think I made out with him.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Rachel: You-you're not wearing a jacket.
Rachel: No, it was a stupid bet! We were just playing a game!
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Rachel: You were with Kenny today, werent you?
Rachel: (entering) Hey roomie!
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Rachel: That wouldnt help me.
Rachel: Ohh, Phoebe, what am I going to do?
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Rachel: (softly) Oh my God.
Rachel: Kim, hi.
Rachel: You and Ralph?
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Rachel: No-no, Im staying put.
Rachel: But honey, I think shes moving in with Chandler.
Chandler: (entering, sees Rachels throw) Ni-hi-ice!
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: (worried) Nothing?
Rachel: You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.
Rachel: Okay then! (She starts rummaging through the trash to find Kim's lighter.)
Rachel: Her dancer friends?
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Well and clearly not a minute sooner.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
(Monica goes into Rachels room.)
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
[Rachel leaves]
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: No!
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
[Rachel enters]
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but Im gonna tell him no.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Okay...
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Rachel: It sure is.
Rachel: Well?
Rachel: Really? How good?