words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Wow! I dont remember him. Honey, are you sure youre not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.
Rachel: Oh thats nice.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: (entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Thank you!
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Rachel: Im sorry. What?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Rachel: Im-ImI had no idea. Im sorry. I
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Rachel: You had a club?!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?
Rachel: What rumor?
Rachel: Ross!
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God!
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Monica, how come you never told me this?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Rachel: What?
Ross: (shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: WhPhoebe!!
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Rachel: Wow
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Shes right.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Rachel: (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the best time?!
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!
Rachel: Uh-hmm. (Just as Rachel finishes signing her name, Ross yanks each page out of the way.)
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Rachel: Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
Rachel: ...pig...pig man!
(Rachel goes to her room.)
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Rachel: Get the hell out of there, yknow?
Rachel: Mhm-mh!
(Rachel points out of the window.)
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: (starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: Settle what?
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
[Scene: Rachels office, Mark is packing his stuff into a box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Oh no, Baby Girl Geller-Green.
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Rachel: I'm in.
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Phoebe: Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off)
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: (hands him one) Here you go.
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: How many you want?
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
Rachel: Yes!
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Rachel: Oh. Right. ...Oh great.