words in movies
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Joey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Monica: Youre not supposed to look!
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Chandler: So, do you know what youre gonna call her yet?
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Ross: Youre back.
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Rachel: Oh my God! Youre a 30 year old virgin!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
Paul: Youre next!!
Monica: Youre jealous of Princess Caroline?
The Fan: Wow! Wow, thanks a lot! I just wanna say, I think youre really talented.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Rachel: You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her youre not ready.
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: (laughs) Are you sure youre okay?
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Ross: (He does so, and finds a half-eaten box of cookies.) Youre good. (Tries a cookie.) These are not.
Rachel: Were gonna find love!
Ross: Thats okay Rach, were not liking Ross right now.
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
Chandler: Youre right.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Rachel: Youre welcome.
Rachel: (To Monica) Yeah, youre on your own.
Rachel: Joey, you are not! Youre 31.
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Ross: Look uh, if were gonna do this
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Rachel: (yelling) So youre gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and thats where everybodys gonna be!
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Rachel: Oh, youre welcome a million.
Monica: No you didnt. Oh and honey just so you know, now that youre marrying me, you dont get to win anymore.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Rachel: Oh theyre pushing! Theyre pushing!!
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Monica: Hey! Good, youre home!
Chandler: Yeah, I dont you should say that even when youre healthy.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Phoebe: Youre still gonna go out with her?!
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
Kyle: Yeah, were gonna go. (They leave.)
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Joey: Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: Yes I do! And were gonna go out, were gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Monica: Relax! Youll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. Youre invisible now.
Ross: (stunned at the complement) Youre welcome.
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Rachel: Thank you! Youre great! (They kiss.)
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
Rachel: Youre out of toilet paper!
Monica: Oh my God! Thats great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) Youre a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!