words in movies
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Richard: Absolutely, this will just be something we do, like racquetball.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Richard: Im wearing two belts.
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Richard: That can be arranged.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
[Richard enters]
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Monica.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.