words in movies
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Chandler: Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked dance for her... with scarves!
Chandler: Oh, yes. I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage on a little light bondage and moustache play!
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Richard: That can be arranged.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
[Richard enters]
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Richard: Oh, hey look nothing happened.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
RICHARD: What?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
RICHARD: Oh?
RICHARD: Really?
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
RICHARD: Two.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
RICHARD: Right, and...
RICHARD: Right.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
RICHARD: Monica.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
RICHARD: Shall we?
RICHARD: No.
RICHARD: Hey.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
RICHARD: Well.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Richard: Youve got panties stuck to your leg.
RICHARD: Thank you.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
RICHARD: You're strict.
RICHARD: Come on.
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
RICHARD: Yeah.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
RICHARD: I love you, too.
RICHARD: Okay.
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.