words in movies
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Ross: (surprised) Hi!
Ross: Awww.
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
Ross: I know.
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Ross: Well, I-I gotta go break up with Bonnie.
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Ross: Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: Its over.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Ross: Okay, Ill be up in, (looks at the letter) 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Done!
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Ross: (interrupting) No, Rach, no. I dont, I dont, I dont have to think about it, in fact, Ive decided, Ive decided that, that it.......does.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Ross: Oh, sure! Im sure.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What happened?
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler about the letter.]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: (calming down) Yeah, I know. I mean, no, youre right. Yeah I guess Ill let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this.
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Ross and Rachel: Come on!
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: I missed you too.
Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Ross: (getting angry) Umm-hmm.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Ross: What?
Ross: Are you serious?
Ross: Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?
Ross: Thanks!
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.
ROSS: I uh, I just got back from uh, from Julie's.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Ross: (gasps) OH NO!
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Ross: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?
Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Joey: Ross?
Ross: So you two are..?
Rachel: We feel so terrible about this, Ross.
Rachel: Ross, say something. Anything.
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
Joey: Ross..
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
Ross: Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Ross: Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Look, I dont feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Prof. Sherman: (confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)
Ross: My fajitas!!
(Ross laughs.)
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
[Scene: Rosss office, hes unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Ross: What you got over there? Tacos?
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Ross: Totally.
Ross: No!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem okay.
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Ross: Okay.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Rachel: You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.
Ross: And have you .. ed?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
Ross: Thanks. Did you stay here all night?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Joey.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure.
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Ross: Let's celebrate with some maple candy!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Ross and Chandler: Hey!
Ross: (looking at Monica's legs) WOW!
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: Eh, you got a spray-on tan?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Ross: Well... I like how you look, what are you?
Ross: Two, I think a two.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Ross: (sarcastically) Really!
Ross: I'm a four?
Ross: (annoyed) Ok!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Ross: (Still yelling) I Know!
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)