words in movies
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Ross: (surprised) Hi!
Ross: Awww.
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
Ross: I know.
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Ross: Well, I-I gotta go break up with Bonnie.
Ross: Well, yeah. I cant-I cant stay here all night, and if I go in there shes-shes gonna wanna... do stuff.
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Ross: Whoa-oh, okay! Yeah, why am I telling you that?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Ross: Okay.
[Scene: The beach house, Rachels bedroom. She is finishing up writing something as Ross walks through the door.]
Ross: Its over.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Ross: Okay, Ill be up in, (looks at the letter) 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Ross: Oh. (looks at his watch) Oh-oh. (takes a drink of coffee and resumes reading the letter)
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Done!
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Im sorry.
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Ross: (interrupting) No, Rach, no. I dont, I dont, I dont have to think about it, in fact, Ive decided, Ive decided that, that it.......does.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Ross: Oh, sure! Im sure.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What happened?
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler about the letter.]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: (calming down) Yeah, I know. I mean, no, youre right. Yeah I guess Ill let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this.
Ross: What the hell happened on that beach?!
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
Ross: (coming back in with Rachel) Hey, you guys! What do you, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Ross and Rachel: Come on!
Ross: What happened? Joey?
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom. Ross and Rachel have just finished consummating the new relationship.]
Ross: I missed you too.
Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Ross: (getting angry) Umm-hmm.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Ross: I fell asleep!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Ross: And she's a little mannish...
Ross: Uh, unless! Unless, uh this lady wouldnt mind letting you go first.
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
Ross: No, Im good. (He sits down, stunned.)
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Ross: Uh, double latte, extra foam.
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Ross: Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Ross: now I feel terrible this is all my fault.
Ross: Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room.
Ross: That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Ross: No, we-we're gonna be like best friends, that's why it's gonna be weird.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Ross: But-but Cailin, he definitely will scream.
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
Ross: And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Pauls flexing.)
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Ross: Uhh, believe me when hes older, hell understand.
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Ross: I need juice! People need juice!!
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Ross: Oh my God. Oh my God! And youre-youre youre not freaking out?
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
ROSS: You mean hardball?
Ross: I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.