words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Ross: What?
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Phoebe: Ross!!!
Ross: DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Ross: Unagi. Im always aware.
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Oh.
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you later pal.
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Ross: Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
The Flight Attendant: (To Ross) Hope you had a nice flight.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Ross: Yes thats right.
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Rachel: Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Ross: DANGER!!!!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
ROSS: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Ross: That was you?
Ross: What time?
Ross: (startled) Yeah?
Ross: Hey, thanks Rach. (They hug.)
Ross: Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Oh! So-so seriously, what time?
Ross: Me either... (He pulls up a stool so that he doesn't have to move his hand.)
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, itll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?
Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Chandler and Ross: Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Ross: Umm, no. No.
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Ross: Going out with who?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Ross: What?
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Ross: Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
Ross: What?
Ross: Really?
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Ross: Oh no-no-no, were just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)
Ross: Hey everybody!
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Ross: Bye.
Ross: Well thanks!
Rachel: (starts to cry) Ross, please, I found the magazines!
Joey: Dahhhhh!! (Ross has a puzzled look on his face.) No! Noooo!! (Storms off.)
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Ross: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Were not 13 anymore.
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didnt count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Ross: Oh-ooh!