words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Ross: What?
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Ross: Help! Help!! Help! Help!!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Ross: Cheers!
Ross: Whats ah, whats so funny about that?
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Ross: (shocked) Hey!
Janice: (entering) Hey there Ross!
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Phoebe: (whispering to Ross) Janice.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: All right.
Ross: Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.
Ross: Youll see.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
Ross: I like that.
Ross: Huh?
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?
Cheryl: Oh, Ross!
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
Ross: Oh, Ill-Ill come hug you.
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
ROSS: Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon?
Ross: Rach, what uh, what are you doing here?
Ross: Yeah.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
(Ross and Emily enter.)
Ross: Bye. (They kiss.)
Ross: Look, you guys don't need me here taking up your space.
Ross: Pheebs!
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Ross: You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a 'K'!
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Ross: (starts rubbing her belly) Hello! Hello!
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Ross: You see Amanda and I have a very special...
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Ross: You really didnt know?
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Ross: Why not? Its built into the price of the room.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: What big thing?
Ross: Oh God, no.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What do you mean?
Ross: Yeah, have a seat.
Ross: You think?
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?