words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Ross: What?
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Ross: Thats right!
Ross: (entering) Hello!
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[Rachel leaves, and Ross follows her into the hall.]
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: Oh.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Just please stop!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just wouldve just stepped aside.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Ross: Okay. Sometimes I feel
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
Ross: (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Ross: Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Okay Rach, but
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Ross: Oh, come on!
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
Ross: On account of my rage.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Ross: Sweetie, dont worry youll get picked. Chandler.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Ross: (in the accent again) Well, hello Rachel!
Ross: All right, bye!
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Yeah! Right!
Ross: Congratulations. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: What?
Ross: Yeah?
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Ross: Excuse me?
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Ross: Totally. (Exits.)
Ross: Eh, no problem.
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing what happened last night.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies!
Ross: Gentlemen, youre pick.
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
Ross: Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Monica: Okay fine, now Ross
Ross: No, look, uh. You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right, I'd feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Its nothing, I just gave her a hug.
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Monica: "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: No, hi, Im, Im an honorary Brown Bird (does the Brown Bird salute.)