words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Ross: Well, hello, Mrs. Ross! (Throws some rice.)
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: Why are we in bed together?
Ross: (checks) Yeah.
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: And we didnt have sex.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
(Ross and Rachel enter.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: What?
Rachel: (To Ross) I dont know. (To the gang.) What do you mean last night? Nothing, nothing uh, happened last night.
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Ross: What?
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Yes, exactly!
Ross: Wow! This is so amazing. I uh, I really thought Id have to talk you into this more.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Ross: Im asking you to do me a favor.
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: And as my wife I think you should grant me this favor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Ross: All right. All right, Ill do it.
(Ross turns and leaves.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Oh, yeah, no problems. Its all taken care of.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Oh yeah, why not?
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: I didnt get the annulment.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: Okay! Okay! Ooh-hey-hey-hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! Ill-Ill tell her tonight I cant see her anymore.
Ross: Not-not really. Th-th-there was just Carol.
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
Ross: Playpen?! Bens seven!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Ross: Yeah, but still, cheap shot!
Ross: Dude. (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
Ross: No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-II need to, I need to lie down.
Ross: So how long are you in town?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Ross: Yeah.
Jen: I forgot my paper. (Ross quickly hides the card in his mouth.)
Ross: Uh, middle balcony.
Ross: Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin in there.
Ross: Hi!
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Ross: Mm-hmm. Shesshes emotional, but, but ballsy.
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Ross: Uh sure, sure.
Ross: Okay, can we just sign please?
ROSS: Uh, Macy's, third floor, home furnishings.
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Ross: Hmm
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Ross: The card! I think were there!
Ross: Lets do the card!
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Ross: And itll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Smaller than that.
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Really.
(Ross groans no.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: No. That guy is.
Ross: I love you!
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Ross: Hell yeah!
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: Shake it!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Ross: Shake it!
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! Im the teacher!!
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the bands ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band saysI dont care about the stupid band!!
Ross: Phoebe!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Ross: Right.
Ross: And smart!
Ross: Really? Me too!
Ross: That sounds fair.
Ross: All right.
Ross: Fine, you go.
Ross: Huh.
Ross: Veto.