words in movies
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
ROSS: I don't want to.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Oh c'mon. Maybe you're just, uhhh... paying your dues.
[Ross enters, depressed.]
ROSS: [sullenly] Hiiiiii.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
ROSS: Oooooh.
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
[Russ enters Central Perk. He looks like Ross, except for his chin and hair (it is David Schwimmer in a dual role).]
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
CHAN: [turning around] Hey Ross.... bahhhh!
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
ROSS: What? What's wrong?
ROSS: Alright.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?
ROSS: A date.
ROSS: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: I, uh, well... I... I met Russ.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
ROSS: OK, well, um, have a nice evening.
ROSS: [upset] She's dating. She's dating.
ROSS: What do you mean?
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
ROSS: ....................Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
ROSS: [condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
PHOE: Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross!
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
ROSS: Oh you do, do you?
ROSS: Of... of what?
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
ROSS: Where ya goin'?
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
ROSS: Good for you.
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Ross: Thank you so much for coming back over.
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
Ross: (notices the table) HeyOoh! Whats-whats that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Ross: Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Ross: You come out there, you're a dead man.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
Ross: I-I-am(Suddenly Ross starts screaming and comes falling down the stairs landing just in front of Rachel.)
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Ross: Hey! What do you guys think about this. "Ross: The Divorce-Force".
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Ross: Im understanding, but lets not get carried away.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
ROSS: Woah. Huh. You know about my, I mean, you know I had... you know?
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.
(Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa)
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Ross: Well I I havent actually told her yet. I dont want to scare her off, yknow?
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Mrs. Waltham: (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Ross: Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Ross: Sweetie, calm down, its gonna be okay.
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
Ross: Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving. How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
(Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.)
Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is sitting in the lobby as Ross enters.]
Ross: Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at the source.
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
Ross: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
(Ross stares at her. Thinks about it. Puts cards on table, face down.)