words in movies
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
ROSS: I don't want to.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Oh c'mon. Maybe you're just, uhhh... paying your dues.
[Ross enters, depressed.]
ROSS: [sullenly] Hiiiiii.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
ROSS: Oooooh.
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
[Russ enters Central Perk. He looks like Ross, except for his chin and hair (it is David Schwimmer in a dual role).]
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
CHAN: [turning around] Hey Ross.... bahhhh!
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
ROSS: What? What's wrong?
ROSS: Alright.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?
ROSS: A date.
ROSS: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: I, uh, well... I... I met Russ.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
ROSS: OK, well, um, have a nice evening.
ROSS: [upset] She's dating. She's dating.
ROSS: What do you mean?
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
ROSS: ....................Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
ROSS: [condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
PHOE: Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross!
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
ROSS: Oh you do, do you?
ROSS: Of... of what?
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
ROSS: Where ya goin'?
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
ROSS: Good for you.
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Ross: What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!
Ross: They published my paper.
Ross: My apothecary table!!!
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Ross: But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?
Ross: Who?
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Ross: Hmm.
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Ross: Oh, it's-it's Marcel. He keeps shutting me out, y'know? He's walking around all the time dragging his hands...
Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, lets, we kinda have to get going!
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Ross: What?!
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Elizabeth: (sticking her head out her window) Ross! Wait!
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Ross: You- uh- y'know what, I'm gonna go. I don't- I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: Fighting?!
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Ross: Hey, come on in.
Ross: Rach!
Ross: What happened you guys?
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross is at the Monkey cages.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Ross: Oh come on, not again.
Ross: I was not!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Ross: All right.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats up?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: Where is she?
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Ross: Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Ross: What? What? Was that a joke? 'Cause it's mean.
(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)
Ross: Hey!
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: Wow! Happy Monicas night!
Ross: You mean, weyou and me?
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: You okay?
Rachel: Because, I cant! Ross, I told you, no. I cant.
Ross: What?
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Ross: Yeah?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Ross: A what?
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: My hands?
Ross: No.
Ross: (incredulous) In your mouth?!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: Yeah, no problem. (Tries to turn it off.)
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Ross: It is! It is!
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Ross: Yeah!
Ross: (picks up a surgical instrament and mimes a duck with it) Quack, quack..
Ross: Oh no!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?