words in movies
CHAN: Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
ROSS: I don't want to.
ROSS: Yeah.
ROSS: Oh c'mon. Maybe you're just, uhhh... paying your dues.
[Ross enters, depressed.]
ROSS: [sullenly] Hiiiiii.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah, just a tough day at work. A stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid. Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket, this is, th--Fun Bobby's jacket! Where is he, what. He, he's here, isn't he?
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
ROSS: Hey, Fun Bobby!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
ROSS: Oooooh.
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
[Russ enters Central Perk. He looks like Ross, except for his chin and hair (it is David Schwimmer in a dual role).]
RUSS: [sounding like Ross] Hhhhiiiii.
CHAN: [turning around] Hey Ross.... bahhhh!
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
ROSS: What? What's wrong?
ROSS: Alright.
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
ROSS: Hi.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?
ROSS: A date.
ROSS: Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
ROSS: Yes, yes I am. And you are a....
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
ROSS: I, uh, well... I... I met Russ.
ROSS: Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
ROSS: OK, well, um, have a nice evening.
ROSS: [upset] She's dating. She's dating.
ROSS: What do you mean?
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
ROSS: ....................Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
ROSS: [condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.
PHOE: OK honey, you're dating Ross.
PHOE: Russ is Ross. Russ... Ross!
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
ROSS: Oh you do, do you?
ROSS: Of... of what?
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
ROSS: No, no, let me finish.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
ROSS: Hi.
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
ROSS: Where ya goin'?
ROSS: Ooooohhhh.
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
ROSS: Good for you.
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Ross: Okay.
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Ross: I can.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Ross: Okay, Ive got three of my five.
Ross: Right. (Exits.)
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: I know!
Ross: That would be great.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross and Chandler are in their tuxes and have started to fake the pictures.]
Ross: Here you go.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: Check this out. Five hundred and seventeen boxes!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Ross: Really? Did you count Mississipily?
Ross and Joey: No.
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as Mona enters.]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
Ross: It didnt.
Ross: No the mans right, thats what I had with Rachel.
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Oh, no! No!
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi..
Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Ross: Hi!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: Still?!
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Ross: Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Ross: Well Im sorry but, that-thats really not my problem.
Ross: (entering) Hello.
Rachel: Ross, shes gonna start getting ready soon!
Ross: Hi.
Ross: What?!
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Yes, I do.
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Its still a gift! I got it from the gift shop!
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Petty...
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Ross: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: You bug me.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
Ross: Shes going in. Wait! Hes going in! Hes going in!! The doors closed! I, I cant see anything but the door closed!!
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
Ross: Real magic does exist.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)